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making new friends

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by seek, Aug 2, 2015.

  1. seek

    seek Guest

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    So, this is my first post. Sorry if it is not in the right spot.

    I have always been close with my friends. We are a small group, but still close. After school finished, we kind of went our separate ways, as people do. I went off to uni, others went to full time work etc. Naturally, it become increasingly difficult to meet and hang out. Although when we do its like old times again. Just less frequent. I have now finished uni and am working full time.

    Anyway, I have had these friends for ages. I have always struggled to make friends. They have all made new close friends in their lives. I seem to struggle. don't get me wrong, we are all still friends, but living in separate cities/towns makes it difficult to catch up and hang out. the friends I have made seem to be more 'associates' rather than friends. Whilst I like them, I don't think I would go out for coffee or have personal conversations etc.

    I do not like going out and getting drunk all the time and it seems that may be my problem making new friends. I didn't go out at uni and did not live in shared accommodation/resident. I guess I put myself on the outter by doing that.

    ANy suggestions on how I can fix this.
    I am a closeted gay man, do you think that may have something to do with it?
     
  2. Aspen

    Advisor Full Member

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    I don't think behind closeted or gay has anything to do with it, unless you're pushing people away to avoid the possibility of them finding out. The best way to make friends it to meet people that you share interests with, whatever those may be.
     
  3. seek

    seek Guest

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    I think not being out has impacted on this. if I meet new people there is a possibility that they may think I am gay. Not that it is a bad thing, I just don't think I am quite ready to come out yet.

    its especially hard trying to make male friends. Im not the sporty guy. ALl the guy seem to talk about is sports and how many women they have slept with. That's a conversation I cannot contribute to.

    I know my problem isn't a big deal and I should get over it. Has anyone else experienced something similar and how did you deal with it?