Ever since I came out I have seen to lost a few friends. That's what scares me about this upcoming school year is starring off with a lack of friends. The social anxiety doesn't help either so I doubt I will make friends right off the bat this year. I Just really want my friend s back. What do I do?
My (shitty) advice will be this, I'd say, just go into the new school year with optimism. If those people left you for coming out, you didn't need them anyway. Best of luck. ---------- Post added 2nd Aug 2015 at 11:06 PM ---------- Chuck me a message whenever though, I'd be happy to have a chat with you about anything.
When I came out I had absolutely no friends at all. No one had my back at all. But as time wore on I found a friend who understood me, and seemed to just "get" me and what made me happy made her happy. We then became friends, and best friends, and her friends became my friends, and now I have many friends. Long story short, stay you and they will come.
If your 'friends' left you after you came out, then they aren't really your friends. :/ As long as you stay true to yourself, are open to people's differences, and respect everyone for who they are (unless they are jerks, then that's a different story.), you will find friends... trust me, they will come to you. ^^
Yeah, I don't really consider them my "friends" anymore. Most of them are jerks and that's why I don't talk to them anymore
I agree with this completely. You haven't changed; you're just allowing people to see more of who you really are. If your so-called friends abandon you for that, it means they only liked a false perception of you and they were never genuine friends in the first place. I know that doesn't make it easier to swallow and it must hurt a lot to be brushed aside like that, but in the long-run you're better off not being surrounded by people who would treat you that way.
If you are like other socially anxious people that I know (myself included), you probably don't mind spending a good deal of time on your own doing solo activities - reading, gaming, movies, running, swimming etc. Find joy in doing the things that you love doing and friends (or just one good friend) will sort of just appear.
I agree with focusing on yourself, but for different reasons. Even when you're looking to make new friends it's important to take care of yourself in the meantime. Sometimes good people are alone for awhile. Just don't turn it into a nightmare of isolation.
I could give you some long-winded response, but I'll keep it simple: Do what you love and along the way, you'll meet people. Some will be temporary, some long term and, if you're lucky, some may even be your friend. Basically, focus on you. The path you take as you endure your personal journey, will be shared by others. It is up to you to decide who you walk with, and who you leave behind.