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Who you're dating affecting future friendships

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Lmh927, Aug 2, 2015.

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  1. Lmh927

    Lmh927
    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    I have a very complicated relationship status. I've only dated men and up until a year or two ago I started dating a female. I am female myself. Love is a crazy thing and one thing led to another and we are now together for awhile. My parents accept.. Her family does not at this point in time. With that stress aside .... I'm finding myself self conscious about it when I'm in the work place for example. People ask questions and ask if I'm dating and I usually say no or casually dating for the simple fact that I don't like my business aired to strangers. I have nothing to prove to them. But in the near future I will be switching into a very perfessional job and obviously the subject will come up. Opinions have been aired about gays where I am now from people I definitely didn't expect it from which makes me concerned for the future. I want to be honest but at the same time I don't want to be judged right off the bat as the new person.
    In the beginning of this relationship I was very confident but as time goes on I'm feeling insecure about it because people opinions are getting to me. Any advice ? I don't plan to end it... I'm looking on how to overcome this.
     
    #1 Lmh927, Aug 2, 2015
  2. Lin1

    Lin1
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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    First of all I think you should ask yourself why other people's opinion matter so much to you, to the point where they make you doubt yourself and slightly ashame of the person you love? It's normal to be conscious of other people's looks and comments while being in a same-sex relationship or even just when being slightly different from the 'norm' but most can overcome it and shrug it off, why can't you ?


    For your new job if someone ask you if you are dating you can either say that you'd rather not talk about your private life (may not give a good first impression of you though) or simply the truth that you've been in a relationship for x amount of time and things are going great (no need to talk about or emphasize the sex of your partner) then reciprocate the question so they don't ask you anymore question before switching the subject. That's what I would do. (even though I probably wouldn't have much problem telling them if I was with a woman as I believe the bigger deal we make of it the bigger deal stranger make of it.)

    Good luck and don't let other people's views and opinions lead your life ! :slight_smile:
     
    #2 Lin1, Aug 2, 2015
  3. Lmh927

    Lmh927
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    Thanks for the response. I guess I'm still realizing that a same sex relationship is a lot more effort when it comes to other people outside of the relationship. It's sad because love is awesome but then u get all this negative energy and it's just not fair. It's a lot to deal with and adjust with. Like I said I've been with her awhile but there's some things that are still being dealt with
     
    #3 Lmh927, Aug 2, 2015
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