I'm 19 years old and a week ago I would've told you I was bisexual. I met this guy, we started talking, found out we have a bunch in common and have recently started dating. He's literally one of the sweetest people I have ever met, but I'm just not feeling attracted to him. He already makes it VERY clear he really likes me and is basically starting to plan out our future together... Which is pretty fast and sudden for me & not really my style. He's honestly a great person though and I really care for him, he's got tons of great qualities! But I can't stop thinking about how much I wish he was a girl. I've always loved girls and I thought I liked guys too, but being with him has made me realize I probably really am as gay as I've secretly thought. I know we're both still young & very new to dating each other, but I just don't know if I can be with him. I feel very conflicted, I realize I should probably talk to him about it but I don't even know how to begin. He's bisexual himself, but is very attracted to women. I don't know if I'm just not sexually attracted to him, or not not sexually attracted to men in general. I find some very select few men attractive, but a WHOLE LOT of women. Also I'm very femme/lipstick, so I attract mostly men & people for the most part assume I'm straight. I was really trying to find myself a great girlfriend, but instead I've got a very loving and attached boyfriend. :bang::bang::bang:
You should be honest with him for starters seems like he's going pretty steady nothing good is going to come out of that if you have already realized that you're gay, you don't sound like you need validation of that just self assertion that you are infact. With that said it would be healthier if you embraced your true identity and not drag him down the gutter, friendzoning him right now would be your best bet, he'll be bitter, he'll feel down, you'll feel guilty but he'll eventually get over it if he truly wants you in his life. Is it worth risking damaging his emotions and yours over something that isn't genuine? Food for thought.
I agree you have to be honest with him and it does sound like you know your gay and I know you dont want to hurt him but like I said just be honest with him.
Just because you are not in love with him does not mean you can not love him. Sexual attraction: attraction that makes people desire sexual contact or shows sexual interest in another person(s). Romantic attraction: attraction that makes people desire romantic contact or interaction with another person or persons. Aesthetic attraction: occurs when someone appreciates the appearance or beauty of another person(s), disconnected from sexual or romantic attraction. Sensual attraction: the desire to interact with others in a tactile, non-sexual way, such as through hugging or cuddling. Emotional attraction: the desire to get to know someone, often as a result of their personality instead of their physicality. This type of attraction is present in most relationships from platonic friendships to romantic and sexual relationships. Intellectual attraction: the desire to engage with another in an intellectual manner, such as engaging in conversation with them, “picking their brain,” and it has more to do with what or how a person thinks instead of the person themselves. Relationships: queerplatonic (QPRs), platonic, queerplatonic, romantic As long as he accepts whatever your feelings are.
