Time to talk about my religious father

I don't know if there is anything similar to it in the US or the UK. We call it the "evangelist" church. Their congregation is somewhere in the spectrum of hardcore-bigot-christians. They generally do not allow homosexuality and other non heteronormative states. And my father has been a member of them for over ten years, and last year, my aunt, uncle and two little cousins have joined them.
Religion has always been an interesting subject for me. I don't hate it at all. I believe that it can help some people to find happines(in a way I clearly don't understand). Now I have decided that the best for me is to have no religion and experience spirituality on my own. At least for now.
But then I hear my uncles and my father commenting on my facebook status that abortion is awful and that I should not join those "assasain women". Or, in less but of course more painful ocassions, that homosexuality is a sign of having the devil inside you. He said it in front of me and I just had to shut up, a couple of years ago. It sucked. Luckily my mother knows that it is not true.
So it makes me think about what should I think and feel towards them(my father and uncles). And about what makes their religion false and my philosophy true. Sometimes I think.. if... if all that stupid things they say are true. That I am going to burn in hell if I don't follow God's word or something. I mean, who can swear it is not truth? Nobody has died and lived to tell what happens then.
But I am digressing.
Today, he came to my home(we live in different houses) and started reprimanding my sister for failing a subject. She was playing Leage Of Legends and the scene just turned violent. He spanked her a couple of times and she told him that she was going to call the cops. They told each other awful things. And at the end of the argument, he told her(like has done a lot of times) that next saturday she was going to go to curch. To his church. She cried and hasn't left her room since then.
Again.
This was only for failing Mathematics.
I don't know what he is going to do when he discovers I am bisexual. As far as I know, there are no straight-conversion camps in my country(or whatever they're called like). That's a relief. I don't want my future kids to be around him if he is going to be like that.
But I don't want him to suffer. We share many physical characteristics. Our faces are very similar. We both love history and books and 60's and 70's music. He is a part of me. And say whatever about him, but he loves us and wants the best for me. And not everyone has a father like that.
But we'll have to stop seeing each other if I ever want to be in a relationship with a woman. And I want to have one.
I just wanted to write something on homophobic relatives, without any question actually.
I know that some people change their minds with time(with a lot of time), like Shane Dawson's mother(he mentioned her in the video in which he comes out as bisexual). That is what I can expect from my stepfather, for example. He is homophobic too, but somehow he is more... realistic. He wouldn't lose control of his life if I came out to him, though he will get mad for a while. My biolohical father would probably lose control.
I don't know what I am going to do. I really want to be in a formal relationship with a woman at least once. And I really don't want to go to hell. :help:
p.s.: I will admit this: I have started threads and never checked them again because of the shame I felt. It will not happen here. I'll mark this thread on chrome and check it in a few days.

 

Hi!
Just stating that I did come back.
Yes... someday I'll have to tell him. Now I(and my sister who is younger than me) depend on him financially. I am affraid of how much he's going to freak out. Maybe he'll yell at my mother and tell her that she did an awful job raising his daughters and if he would have had our custody we would now be normal, good christian girls(which is something he already believes). And he'll stop giving us money because he doesn't want to raise two sinners with his own earnings.
But, on the other hand, someday he will stop giving us money... and that day I won't have any excuses not to tell him the truth. And the truth is that I am terryfied on his reaction.
Of course, money is important now, but... again, he's a part of me. And he loves me. And he connects me with a huge part of my family, and some of its members(like my cousins) are people I don't want to separate from. Also thinking that someday he just wouldn't want to recognize me as his daughter just destroys me.
I think I'm going nowhere here. I don't know. Maybe if he wants the best for me, the right thing to do is to tell him(someday) and just get rid off his negativeness. Because that for sure won't make me any good, ever.
Well, that if I ever find someone that finds me attractive for a second and that I find attractive back but that is a completely different subject.
Kisses
(*hug*)(*hug*)