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Doing the same things with a new gf as with exes?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by troubleshooter, Aug 5, 2015.

  1. troubleshooter

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    NJ
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I recently just started my third relationship, but I so often feel like I don't know the "rules" of dating. Since I just started that new relationship I'm thinking of all sorts of things I can do with her, especially since she's not from the area. However sometimes I feel bad that a lot of the places or things I want to do I did with past girlfriends. Is that wrong? I mean it's not like I'm trying to re-enact things with her that I did with them. It's just more like "That's a fun place, I want to go there with someone else again!" or "I really like the food there, I'm going to take her." or "I like doing --- I'm going to do it with her too." Do you think there's anything wrong with that? Or she might be insulted at all if she founds out? Mainly through a few facebook photos, that of course I didn't post but my mom did!

    And in the same vein, is it wrong to keep photos of old girlfriends? I don't have many mementos from past relationships but I really love photos and scrapbooking. So of course I have lots of pictures and scrapbooks with those past relationships. Some of which include a trip that was really important to me, a vacation I'd saved up for for a long time. I would be bothered if I was forced to throw out these memories of my own life (that I spent hours and money scrapbooking!), just because they involved exes. But is that wrong? Obviously it's just the start of a relationship now but what are your thoughts on that?
     
  2. Lyana

    Full Member

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    Hey troubleshooter,
    I don't think there's anything wrong about going to certain places you went with an ex. Things like a great restaurant -- why deny yourself good food just because you brought an ex there? If you don't frame it as being "our special restaurant, I've never brought anyone else here," then it's fine.
    Really, don't stress it.

    Scrapbooks are fine, too. They're actually really sweet. And tossing out something you worked so hard on would be a shame. Unless you go through the scrapbook staring at your ex's photos every night, it's not the same thing as keeping a heart-framed picture of your ex on the bedside table.

    None of this sounds like anything creepy or unreasonable. Of course, if something makes the girl you're seeing uncomfortable, you'll talk about it and see what you can do... but until then, there really is no reason for concern!