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Need help and advice. Best friend is coming for a sleepover this weekend.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by kevnes, Aug 5, 2015.

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  1. kevnes

    kevnes Guest

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    Hello friends, Here is my story. I am 26 / M / average build, have a good career, money and a future wife. Met this one guy 32 / extremely fit and work at the same place. Friendship grew stronger and think I have feelings for him. He slept at my place last week, hugged and cuddled on the same bed. Gave him a massage, very close to private parts. He had an erection and so did I. Love his character; very nice guy. I helped him find a girl friend but it didn't work out. When we were cuddling and I was very close to him and he didn't say a word. He is coming over again this weekend for a sleep over and i really want to make use of the weekend to try stuff. #1 how to know if he is interested? #2 would he be sharing this with people at work? #3 if everything goes well and we do it, would it be awkward from the next day @wrk #4 if things don't work out and we don't do it, will he stop taking to me or something like that? Because I do not want to lose his friendship in anyway. Please help.

    Ps: He kinda was distant after last week like he is taking too long to respond to texts and stuff but he does want to come over this weekend though.
     
    #1 kevnes, Aug 5, 2015
  2. bookreader

    bookreader
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    I'm sorry, I don't know what to say. Maybe just have a regular sleepover no action. Just talk and get to know each other.
     
    #2 bookreader, Aug 5, 2015
  3. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
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    What I'm not clear about is how your basic friendship with him developed into hugging, cuddling and massaging on the same bed. What was it that precipitated this level of intimacy last weekend? It sounds like something happened to stretch the boundaries of your friendship, but you omitted this significant detail even though it's relevant to the questions you are asking us.

    The answer to all of your questions is a possible yes, but as the saying goes, "it takes two to tango". If anything happens between the two of you it will presumably be because he is a willing participant.

    The bigger question is where does this leave things with your future wife? I'm assuming you don't have an open relationship with her that allows you to be intimate with other men? I'm not judging you, but when you are considering marriage to someone it's not a good idea to be thinking about sexual intimacy with someone else, unless your relationship allows for it. It sounds like you are setting up an explosive situation that could lead to hurt feelings on all sides.
     
    #3 PatrickUK, Aug 7, 2015
  4. kevnes

    kevnes Guest

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    Nope not doing it. Changed my mind. Not sure what I was thinking but he texted me something this morning about things happened last night with some girl he met and I don't want to do this anymore. May be this is a sign. Thanks everyone.
     
    #4 kevnes, Aug 7, 2015
  5. disclarity

    disclarity
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    I'm happy that you got to figure out the problem by yourself. How do you feel now?
     
    #5 disclarity, Aug 8, 2015
  6. radiocat

    radiocat
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    are you ok? how are you feeling now?
     
    #6 radiocat, Aug 9, 2015
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