Hey guys! So I'm transitioning from female to male, and I want my name to now be Keith. Some of my friends are willing to call me by my new name, but completely unsurprisingly a lot of people aren't willing to do it. I guess I'll deal with it for the first month or so cuz it'll take a while for people to get used to, but after that I will be offended or ignore you or call you a completely different name. I just asked my gma to call me by my new name and she refuses. You guys have any advice for this?
It is a hard process for other people to get accustomed to, even ones who've known you for only a few years or so. If you do choose to ignore the people who use the wrong name in the future, try to only do it to people who aren't trying to use your new name. I've been going with female pronouns for two years and honestly my dad makes a slip up still once in a blue moon. The name is similar, especially for people close to you who have known you as a certain name for so long. As for your grandmother I have some personal experience which may be able to help. Depending on her veiws, which are likely a bit old fashioned as they usually are people her age, she may never accept the new name or pronouns. For the whole time I transitioned I had to let her call me my old name and pronouns, up until the day she died. Sometimes you really just can't win that battle and it may be best to sort of put on a coat of thick skin before you visit her. Also another factor to some people is if you're visibly changing or not. Some people may be accepting but if you look the same as you've always been and change your name to a name not associated with the gender you are seen as currently, it can be hard for people just based on that fact. I had a few people in my life only start coming around with my name and pronouns after I was "becoming female". It makes it a bit easier to associate the new name to a "new" person for some people. Another small thing I noticed as well was that after I legally changed my name people also were a bit more vigilant with using the correct name because that was now really my name on my ID and everywhere else.
probably the most effective thing that I have found to do in order to get people to use my name is to not respond if they call me by something else. If you only respond when people call you Keith they will start to get it.
