So this happened

Hello, im a girl who is 18 andi just resently discovered i'm pansexual,
I'm at my senior year of school and i'm really looking forward for my graduation as I study in a catholic school who is very closed mind towards other sexual orientations.
So the reason of this post is something that has been bothering me for a while.
Sorry if this is too long, so i had a friend who we are going to call "Jessica" she wasn't my closest friend but i liked hanging out with her and talking about past relationships we had, we both were in difficult relationship with guys, and i was like a support for her in the rough times, although as i told before she wasn't my closest friend. One day she told me she liked one of our friends, i'll name her Karina, and if i could help her out with her, know what's on her mind, if she liked her, stuff like that, i'm usually pretty good at figuring people out, so i started to talk to her more often to see if she had a chance. I felt nothing more than the feeling of friendship for her.
She had an ex boyfriend called Kevin who was obssesed with her, he litterally fell death when she dumped him, and blame me for it as i was the one who told her that her relashionship with him wasn't working out. ( ps: that happen around january) Anyways besides the breakup she always try to speak with him and they had a really sick relationship in general because he was obsessive and dependign towards her.
So when he finded out she was into Karina everithing became a mess for him, and she didn't wanted to stop talking to him but he didnt want to talk to her, a mess in general.
So around april she told me she had give up with karina because she was never going to like her, and i agree with her, she is sort of asexual, maybe she wasn't the one for her. At all this Karina never knew that Jessica was into her, she only knew she liked someone.
All this drama got me one afternoon that Jessica asked me if i liked any girl or if i would be with one, and the truth was that the idea of it had been chasing me since the week before so i was like well is now or never, and i told her that if i would be with a girl i would like to be with her. I didn't speckt anything to happened i liked her but i didn't had a crush on her, but then she told me " I like you too, i have liked you since long time ago but you seem too straight" i never really show anything at all at school just with my best friends so i got her. After a few days after the confession we decided we would like to take a chance on this and try to be together. An then everithing beggan the holding hands in secret the long talks on the phone, and that for two weeks without a kiss, after one day she told me" let's go to the movies " so we went and make out at the movies for the first time and it was amazing, i really liked her and starting too felt things for her. We couddle for a while at the movies and then went out, so everithing became a lot serious after that. I had a crisis at accepting i liked her because i never really never thouth i could be with a girl.
Time pass by we had a month of dating and everithing went ok, we had out fights but we try figuring everithing out, and by then i was scared of falling in love with her because ididn't want to get hurt, but we were together and i really liked her .
Until one day we had a fight about what her intentions really were with me of what was going on her mind if she really wanted to be with me, or what and she demped me and i was heartbroken, because i had trust her. a lot of akward situations ocurred later because neither of us wanted to talk to each other, my life went on until the summer break, we had a project together so i had to endure to watch her for a week.
Ps: i have anxiety issues and i never really knew why i had this nervous nausea until i investigate a little and i had it because i couldn't accept the following events.
so with all of our classmates we decided to go out on a date to the movies and at the end we were only for, me, my friend Claire, Alex, and Jessica, alex was going to meet with her boyfriend so that only left 3 of us , until Jessica mentioned that she was also meeting someone, and i crashed, it had only been 3 weeks since we broke up, who was she meeting? imagine my surprise when i saw Carl over the movies. I felt really heart broken. I feel generally sad about it. i just needed to say it.

 

Thanks, I know i'll heal but i think I needed to put that out, it's sad because she was my friend and i trusted her. Thanks for reading my post, i know it was long