Boyfriend and I broke up after he became very distant.

My boyfriend and I broke up, and I'm really hurt. We had been dating since November and he officially became my boyfriend in february. He's 25, I'm 21. He was really caring, loving, and supportive, he was there with me when I lost my dad in november from a heart attack and he never left my side, and stayed with me through that hell when we barely knew each other for like two weeks. He's semi-closeted so that made things a little complicated for us, but I supported him because I knew how hard it was to keep your life from your family and fearing rejection. So, he met my family, and I made him official in my life, but he couldn't do the same, but I understood and didn't have that over him, I'm not selfish and I didn't want to make his life a living hell, so I respected his decision to keep our relationship private from his family. Months passed, we would go on dates a lot, I was studying and had a job with low hours (which I quit a few months later) and he had two jobs, but still managed to have time for me.

We would text all day, he was always in contact with me, he would call me and we would talk for hours, everything felt amazing, we even went on a vacation together during spring break, and at that point I felt like I couldn't be any happier. So May came along, I managed to get a job interview with walmart, and was hired, he was supportive and motivated me to find a better job, and I did. Things were still going great. We did have a few arguments here and then but it wasn't anything serious. Sometimes we would go out with his friends to hang out and my mind would betray me, I would start feeling a little sad, because I felt that I wasn't ready to be in a place with loud music, I would start thinking about my dad and all the changes I've going through in the past few months. So this happened like two times, and he told me that he didn't want me to feel so sad, that he wanted me to make an effort to focus on the positive things in life and to focus less on the negative things. I would have expected him to be a little more understanding, since it hasn't even been a year since I had lost my dad and I would often feel vulnerable.

So June came and this is where things started to change. I was working all the time and we would not see each other as often. He was working a lot too, but I knew this was going to happen so I didn't worry that much at first. But one day, it just wasn't the same.. he would no longer text me like he used too, I was always the one trying to communicate with him, and I stopped seeing an effort. He no longer had to urge to see me, to call me, to text me, I would often ask him out in our days off and he always told me that he was feeling too tired to go out with me, however, some days I would be working, he was out of his job early, and he would go out with his friends. So that made me feel really bad, I started to see a pattern in his behaviour. So since we were barely talking to each other, and he didn't seem to care if we talked or not, I confronted him when we went out on a date on the last days of june, I asked him what was going on, that I no longer felt that he was interested in me, I asked him if I had done anything wrong, and he told me that he didn't want to talk about it at that moment. He hung out with his buddies when I was with him that day and I felt completely ignored by him, I felt his indifferent treatment, and later that night, when I confronted him again, he said that he was getting used to the relationship, that he felt that we were different. I felt crushed, went home and I cried a lot, I didn't understand what made him feel that way now, it just all felt like cheap excuses.

So during July, he was hot and cold, he kept me in a loop, he would go out with me but I no longer felt like his boyfriend, he was treating like a friend. He longer hugged me, kissed, and he just stopped trying, his words didn't get along with his actions. He said he loved me and that he wanted to be with me, but he was treating me like he didn't care. I felt emotiobally exhausted and I was miserable that whole month. I expected him to change since the argument, but he didn't, he became even more distant and a week ago, I finally decided that I had enough, and I couldn't keep up with this. I broke up with him and told him how I felt, he didn't even try to stop me from breaking up with him, he accepted my decision and he just.. didn't try to fix things. I feel heart broken, I don't know what went wrong, I was giving too much, caring too much, but he apparently wasn't no longer feeling the same way. He tried to contact me few days later after we broke up telling me that he hoped that I was okay, that I was important to him, that he felt weird and he was always going to be there for me if I needed him. What is wrong with him?.. I know this is long, but I just don't understand how someone can go from being such a lovely, caring person, to being that cold.

I know this was really long, but I have a lot to get off my chest. He was my first boyfriend and my first real relationship.

 

I thank each one of you for taking the time to reply to my post. I know I took the right decision, I wasn't feeling happy and I felt like I was begging for attention and love, which made things even worse. I've felt better in the past few days, I no longer have that feeling in my chest of being constantly disappointed. I do still have feelings for him, and it's going to take some time to feel alright. I don't want to know what he's up to, 'cause it feels weird to think that he's already moving on when it has barely been a week. I don't know if this makes any sense but I would like to think that he's actually feeling the same bittersweet feeling that the breakup left me with, but I guess it's pointless to think about that right now. Things will get better, I just have to be patient and try to distract myself.