Just want other people's opinions on this

Lets say you had feelings for someone but for whatever reason you stopped having feelings for thag person but they wouldn't stop texting and calling you even though you were ignoring them. What if they texted you sometimes up to 3 times per day and what if they even told you that you can tell them to stop and they'll respect that if their constant texting and calling annoyed you. Wouldn't you get tired of it after a couple weeks of them texting you every single day and eventually tell them to stop socially if they were texting you at least twice per day and sometimes more?

Lets change the scenario a bit. What if you still had feelings for that person and you really wanted to be with them but you were afraid of persuing a relationship with them because in a previous relationship you were cheated on and you were treated poorly by your previous partner and your afraid that the same thing will happen in this new relationship? Would you still be annoyed by the constant texting and calling in this scenario and would you tell them to leave you alone in this scenario too even if you really wanted to be with them but you were too afraid?

 

Thanks for the reply.

My situation is actually the second scenario but I'm actually the one who is constantly texting him and he never answers the phone so I occasionally will leave him voicemails.

When he and I went on our first date he told me that his ex boyfriend would belittle him and was also physically abusive. I had this hunch before but it also sounds like his ex cheated on him and because of all that he has put up major walls and they can be so high at times that it feels like I can't see over them even with a step stool.

I know he has feelings for me and I've even given him plenty of opportunities to tell me to leave him alone and to stop texting him and I've even given him the opportunity to tell me that he doesn't want a relationship with me anymore but he has never taken literally any of those opportunities in fact he usually does the opposite and he tells me he wants a relationship.

The past month or so we have been going thru periods where he will be communicating with me(although we havent seen each other in about 2 months) and everything will be okay and then all of a sudden he will cut all contact with me for a week or two and then out of no where he will contact me again.

Despite the fact that he has been ignoring me, I have been texting him "good morning" amd "goodnight" every single day for the past 14+ days and occasionally I'll text him something nice in the middle of the day too and I have told him to just tell me if my constant texting is too much and overwhelming or annoying and he has never told me to stop or tone it down or anything. The last time he texted me back after a hiatus, he suggested that him and I make our relationship official and we started telling each other that we love each other but he is afraid that I'll just up and leave out of nowhere or I will cheat on him like his last bf did and I have no intentions on doing either of those things or hurting him. I want to show him that and I want him to feel like he can trust me and I know that trust will take time to build but it feels like the only thing I can do is just keep texting him like I have been.

I could be mean and tell him that I can't keep putting myself thru this pain and heartache and tell him that I'm going to stop but for one, I know for a fact that would devistate him and two, my feelings for him are way too strong to give up on him.

 

Thanks and I wouldn't be putting this much effort into it if I didn't see potential in him for marriage. I really do love him and I know he will open up to me when he is ready and I know that because he has opened up a little bit to me before. It wasn't much but it was something and thats all I can ask for is for him to at least try and I do see him doing that otherwise I would've given up on him a long time ago. The next time I see him in person, I will definitely be discussing th is with him face to face instead of over the phone or text.

---------- Post added 11th Aug 2015 at 04:26 PM ----------

He hasn't told me to stop texting him or to tone down the texting a little bit so am I crazy for continuing to text him everyday?

I figure if I'm smothering him or if he needs space he will eventually tell me.

 

Haha thanks and theres times where I feel like I'm losing my mind but then I have to remind myself that I have given him more opportunities than I can remember to tell me that he doesn't want a relationship with me but he has never once taken advantage of any of those opportunities and then I get that fire in my gut to keep going again. Its really hard but I know that once he does come around that it'll be worth it.

My boyfriend tends to be kind of an insecure guy and I'm not saying thats a bad thing and I tend to be pretty insecure myself but I'm a couple years older than him so I've had more time to work on it than he has but before we started dating he told me that he wasn't sure how to approach me so I think your right when you say that he's not quite sure how to express his feelings.

I obviously don't know your friend but maybe she is in the same boat as my boyfriend and she is insecure as well and she just isn't sure how to express her feelings too.

 

I do the same thing haha. In the end thats what make relationships work weather they're friendships or relationships. Doesn't necessarily mean that you let ppl walk all over you