When I went into 6th grade I slipped into a deep depression a lot of times crying not talking to anyone always just being sad as I went deeper into depression throwing up self harm thinking about suicide but as I got even deeper into my depression I stopped feeling anything I always had what people called and emotionless face always the same dead eyes and always a weird kinda frowning kinda smiling face I would Never feel anger or sadness but just emptyness and coldness I stopped feeling anything but just fear confusion and emptyness
Woah, please, just calm yourself. I know how you feel. The 6th grade was my worst year of school for me. Back then, I didn't have anyone to really help me with the things I went through. I still feel the emotional wounds like it was yesterday, even though it was almost 6 whole years since I started that grade level. First off, you need to start finding positives in your life. It's the first step to realizing you don't have a 100% awful life. There has to be something that makes you happy. Go on, think of at least one. Second, self harm and suicide are not the way to go. I used to have suicidal thoughts as well before I found a purpose for living, which is becoming a writer. Find a purpose for living. I know you can. The only way you are going to have brighter days in the future is if you make them brighter. Maybe there are friends you can talk to in real life to help you get through this as well, or maybe there are some activities after school you can attend to have fun and meet people at. If you don't start finding or even making positives in your life, and only stay in the dark, you're only furthering yourself down the spiral of depression. I know it sounds like it's hard at this stage in the game, but I know you can do it. I was in a worse state in my life than you are right now by the time I was your age, but even I was able to pull my self up and have the courage to make a difference in my life, and I am all the better for it. The only person who can truly make decisions for you is you. Fight back against the depression! I have faith in you. :icon_bigg
Don't give up that easily, you'll never find your purpose if you don't even try. Remember, I'm proof that it's possible to make the best out of the worst experiences. I've been through so much in the past, you'd think I'd have given up on life years ago. But I haven't. Not yet, anyway, because I know that there's so much in store for me as long as I just believe in myself and fix my own problems. Yow don't feel like you have anything to offer to society because you haven't found it yet. It's not like fortune will come searching for someone who doesn't even try. You have to be the one searching for fortune. You have to understand how you are the key to your own life. I'm the one to help you figure out how to turn it. I can only do so much over the internet. The life changing actions must be done by you and you alone if you really desperately want fortune to finally smile upon you. :icon_wink
OK maby my life will be better as an adult but I still have 5 years until then the only people that know I'm gay are some friends online no one know irl and my parents think I have a girlfriend and all of my friends think I'm some lady's man I can't keep living like this but I have no choice iv seen what they did to one kid who said he was gay people are still bullying him for it
Hmm... Maybe you could start helping the bullied kid in secret, or possibly direct him to come to this site, where he can be helped. Also, I really do know how bullying feels, as I've been the victim of it for my whole life. I was nearly stabbed And pushed down stairs by the same person in the 6th grade. I've had my best friends turn on me and become my worst enemies. It really hurts, and maybe you could do some right by helping that bullied kid, like becoming his friend or even reporting the harassment the others are giving him. These are just suggestions, but it would really help both you and the bullied kid. If the school staff are able to know about the bullying and keep watch over the bullies, maybe the situation will lighten up and you'll be able to come out. Finally, you really have to be honest with people, especially your family, and tell them the truth about who you are and who you like. It's always best to start coming out to family first, as they can usually be the most supportive if they're not exactly the homophobic type. Just be true to yourself and honest to others, and it'll work out fine. Besides, it's not like your parents can disown you if you come out to them. That would definitely get child services involved.
I really can't come out to my family my parents often rant about gays and when they heard that it was legal for gays to get married they threw a fit but many I could try to help the kid but telling an adult about it wouldn't help it hasn't happeneded yet but it's kinda obvious they wouldn't do anything
Okay, so we've ruled out coming out to family, telling the school staff, and coming out to friends...just s I feared it would happen...what else should be considered...? :eusa_thin Well, definitely what's left to do is to be honest and tell everyone you aren't really seeing a girl. I went through two whole years of school myself where I spun that lie because I didn't want to come out that I was really talking about a plush doll (I'm object sexual after all, but I won't tell that to any of my real life friends), and the web grew and grew until I almost broke from the stress of keeping up with each piece of the lie. I'd hate to go through that again, and I really don't want to see someone else go through that either.
I don't reply know if I could tell people I was making up my girlfriend if I have to stop lieing I would probubly say we broke up have a girlfriend is the only thing keeping some people from fidguering out I'm gay
Okay, good. Why don't you go with that. I believe that covers all the bases on this topic. Just remember that you are your best advocate when it comes to getting out of the depression loop! I have faith in you!
