Dating Women for the First Time - What Should I Expect?

So, I need advice. I'm new to dating women and I'm sure as with everything there's a learning curve. I'm 28 years old and I met someone on a dating site. We've largely been communicating through text for nearly two months, but it's been somewhat tempestuous and I'm unsure how to proceed.

When we first began communicating, she was elusive. I would email her, but wouldn't hear from her for a couple of days. When we exchanged numbers, I would text her and there would be a modicum of communication, so I attempted to call her. It didn't work out well. We got into a bit of an argument - from my perspective, because of a lack of substantive communication, from hers, because I was being too forward. We moved past it. We agreed to text until she felt more comfortable conversing on the phone, she was still elusive. From my perspective, she was attempting to control the dynamic of the relationship, as she asked to begin communicating with me via a messenger app/email, which to me was a step back. I appeased her to make her more comfortable.

She finally called me and we began communicating for a week, she let me know she enjoyed conversing with me and wanted to talk to me all the time. Unfortunately, I had a busy weekend and wanted to let her know that I likely wouldn't be able to call her during this time, but would try to. She seemed ok, but apparently wasn't. The next day she sent me a message asking me to watch a long video and provide my thoughts, I let her know I couldn't do it immediately, but when I could I would. I called her that night and received no response. Called her and text her the next day. Same thing.

When she hadn't heard from me in a couple of days, she reached out and acted as though nothing was wrong. When I called her in an attempt to discuss what happened she ignored me. When I texted her, I received a similar response. So, I emailed her to attempt to open communication and state that I didn't understand why there was a lapse and I was hoping we could fix it, that reciprocity in communication was important to me. She didn't respond. So I texted her the next day and asked her to call. She decided to call me when she was a bit tipsy. It didn't go well, she told me I personalized too much, that I was forward, and I shouldn't have been too busy to not call her. We tried again the next day, she was a little less belligerent. I didn't agree with everything she said, though, in hindsight she was right about some things. I definitely am not a fan of the way she decided to communicate with me, I felt as though it could have been done in a more amicable manner.

During this discussion I asked her what her expectations were, she said she didn't need to communicate everyday and I told her I was the same way. Nonetheless, I have since attempted to either call or text her on a daily basis for the most part. She has relegated me to text messages, at times attempting to have in depth discussions....I don't understand. Whenever I call, she doesn't pick up or says she'll call back, but doesn't. Yet she wanted to send me flight information, so I could come see her. When I called her to incorporate her into my vacation plans, she didn't return my call, nor did she refer to it in a later message.

Par for the course - when she doesn't hear from me for a couple of days, she reaches out again. I find this to be extremely odd, but more importantly, unhealthy. I'm not a fan of the push-pull dynamic I see. Whenever I have had an issue, I generally attempt to communicate with her. Though, she has perceived it to be forward. It is more important to me to resolve an issue than to let it linger.

I'm sure she is right in certain respects, I was likely to forward and personalized in the beginning. I still see good in her. But I'm not sure if there's a point in maintaining this relationship, as it's already fraught with such instability and I'm not a fan of instability. She has challenged me in different ways, but if I can't even communicate with you on a basic level, how do I proceed?

Is this normal in dating women? How would you proceed?

 

Thanks GarbageKnight, EastCoastGirl, and scouse. I definitely detected passive-aggression in her behavior, as well as manipulation and punishment in her interaction with me, which I didn't get and don't get. I guess my draw was the fact that we do have very good chemistry, but it's definitely not worth this sort of emotional abuse, especially so early on as you all have stated. I also don't know any queer women my age, which makes dating exceedingly difficult.

Yes, it is "long distance" (just 3.5 hour drive). Out of the blue she tried to send me information on travel deals, so I could visit her. I didn't get it, especially since she refuses to return my calls.

This is all new territory for me, so I'm definitely hoping to develop better, healthier, and more easygoing relationships in the future. I'm about to be 29, so I feel like at this age, the games should be over and we should all just be straight forward.