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Sacred I might be falling for my best friend?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Ravienclaw, Aug 16, 2015.

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  1. Ravienclaw

    Ravienclaw
    Regular Member

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    Okay, I'm super embarrassed about this because in the past I have been know to always always fall for my best friends. This time I thought it would be different. We've been friends for about 6 years now, and we've become so close we're practically sisters. My feelings for her have always been platonic, and just the idea of me having a crush on her seemed so foreign and weird and out of the question... until recently. And I don't know why and I hate myself for it, but:
    1. I sometimes get kind of jealous when she talks about her boyfriend.
    2. She is absolutely beautiful and whenever we go anywhere together guys hit on her. It makes me feel really possessive and I have to fight back the urge to hold her hand in public.
    3. I catch myself staring at her a lot.
    4. She slept over last night and we were laying on my bed binge watching Netflix and at one point she was just so close to me and I kind of wanted to cuddle.
    5. I've had dreams about her.
    6. She sometimes jokes about me being her "girlfriend" and for awhile it was funny but now I don't know anymore and I wanna joke back about it but recently I find myself really scared I'll take it too far.
    I really don't want to go through this again because it never ends well, and like I said she's like my sister and I'm completely disgusted with myself. I don't know what to do.
     
    #1 Ravienclaw, Aug 16, 2015
  2. neondreams

    neondreams
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    Hey Ravien.

    You have absolutley no reason to feel disgusted with yourself. As lesbians, this really does happen to the best of us. I went through the very same situation when I was a teenager (I'm 27 now). I had feelings for one of my best friends, and was also used as an "experiment toy" by another best friend. When I look back on it now, I know it was because I was getting use to my sexuality, and I fell for the closest female I was comfortable with. We are still best friends till this day (15 years later) and apart from physical encounter at 18, there was simply no mutual feelings and I'm glad I never admitted to it (im my case).

    My advise would be to ask yourself, do you feel you have genuine feelings for her or do you just feel a sense of familairity with her that brings you comfort? Jealousy is also natural, she is your best friend after all and you're probably use to being the main person in her life. Hormones at 16 are intense, everything you are going through is absolutley normal. Does she give you any signs that the feelings may be mutual?
     
    #2 neondreams, Aug 16, 2015
  3. Ravienclaw

    Ravienclaw
    Regular Member

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    I think it's probably the familiarity. And when this happened before with two other friends, they used it as an opportunity to experiment, so I think part of it's because I'm used to that too. But no, she's definitely very straight. There is no chance of this going anywhere.
    (and I just realized I typed "sacred" instead of "scared" omg)
     
    #3 Ravienclaw, Aug 16, 2015
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