I have never had the close everyday boyfriend, nor I ever kissed a man, in the past few months I've been struggling a lot with being alone and I feel like I really am ready to be with someone, but then I don't even know how to look for someone as I am not fully out where I live and my country is not tolerant at all. I am not the most handsome or the cutest guy out there (you can see my pics on my profile) but is my appearance that repulsive? In the past I have been told that few girls really fancy me (unfortunately even my friends were falling for me for some reason, so I had to be the awkward "I don't see" or "I'm not interested" guy.) But I don't think they were like "in love" more of they had fun with me and felt comfortable in my company. Long story short, I feel the need to be loved and I want to love someone. I just want to step up to him and be able to just hug him with no other reason than just love. I feel pathetic, but at least I've got that off my chest.
First of all, you are NOT pathetic! Wanting to be in love and to love and be loved is something everyone wants. And second, you're everything, but repulsive. Just the opposite, you're a very attractive young man and I'm sure love will come to you pretty soon. Don't worry!
Hey Feln, first of all the feeling of wanting to be loved and wanting to give love it's the most natural feeling of all, and it's actually great that you have so much to give. I'm sure you'll soon meet someone who will be very lucky to have you - you're very handsome judging from your profile pic, but that's even besides the point: there's always someone who will like us for who we are, there just is. It might be hard to find him/her, especially for people like us and especially when you're not fully out, but they're out there and they're probably feeling something very similar to what you are feeling. i'm also originally from a conservative European country even though i've lived in LA for the last few years so i understand you being weary of coming fully out. Maybe trying to sign up to some online dating websites, if that's a possibility where you're from, might help. Good luck and keep your chin up!
Thanks a lot guys... Your responses made me feel a bit better. I hope it's all true and I'll find someone in the near future. Struggling with life alone is pretty hard deal. About the country... I'll most likely move out, but I've got 2 more years of school, so I hope I'll somehow wait and then plan to get my life together. Thanks again
As others said, your thoughts are normal, and there will be guys who find you attractive. It's good you've started to come out, and you might try to find some LGBT friends at your school in these next two years. Also, remember that just finding a boyfriend is not enough to make you happy. Happiness comes from within, and you can better yourself even while you're single. That will help prepare you to be ready when you find the right guy.
That's really hard in the place I live at, but I'm happy enough to discover that my friend is the part of our LGBTQ group. That made me a bit more confident. Thanks : ) I know I can be happy being single, but on the other hand I don't really want to remain single forever, but I'll let it go by its own pace. I guess...
