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In closet in a country where being gay is a huge taboo

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Haadriv, Aug 18, 2015.

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  1. Haadriv

    Haadriv
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    I think I'm finally stepping out denial to accept my attraction towards the same gender, although its confusing and scary. There is no way I can come out to my family. I have no clue what to do because living in Pakistan there are no community centres or support groups one could join. Online dating is full of fake accounts and weird people. I really genuinely would want to be around people who are gay so I don't feel like I'm the only one out there. Although I'm sure there would be a lot of people who aren't staright or are bisexual it just seems impossible to get around to knowing them. If someone has a suggestion I would really appreciate it.
     
    #1 Haadriv, Aug 18, 2015
  2. zgirl81

    zgirl81
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    Haadriv Hello!

    I'm proud of you for finally stepping out! You are extremely brave, especially because of your location. If you're looking for a community it's probably a good idea to start online. Choose a forum for support (this one is awesome!) and build some confidence in yourself.

    I just did a search for services in your area, and there's actually (surprisingly) quite a few groups operating in your country. It's just a matter of your preferences and enthusiasm for which one to connect with. It appears they a lot of them organize online too.
     
    #2 zgirl81, Aug 18, 2015
  3. Haadriv

    Haadriv
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    Waow.. Thanks that's the first time iv heard someone say that they're proud of me for embracing this part of me. Your right I do need to build my confidence.. Could you share links to what you found in my region and think could be of use ...
     
    #3 Haadriv, Aug 18, 2015
  4. zgirl81

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    So, unfortunately a lot of the links that popped up were sketchy or old links. A lot of the groups have gone very underground after Pakistan shut down the main LGBT site in 2011. :icon_sad:

    However, I did find this group which seems like they may be able to help you get connected or at least find out what exists in your area!
    https://www.facebook.com/NeengarSociety/info?tab=page_info

    Their information was even used in the US state department's report! So that's cool!

    And get used to being called brave and awesome and wonderful! Because you are! :thumbsup:
     
    #4 zgirl81, Aug 18, 2015
  5. Haadriv

    Haadriv
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    Well it means a lot.. Seriously.. All this is so new and when I posted I was full of doubt thinking whoever would respond to me.. And I could see long discussions on other threads.. Was feeling like a little left out kid but thanks ... I will definetly check out the link :slight_smile:
     
    #5 Haadriv, Aug 18, 2015
  6. Crema

    Crema
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    Hi Haadriv and yes, well done to you! You should be very proud of yourself cause you are brave! I think this is an awesome online community and getting to know a few people here can definitely help you explore and understand this part of yourself - which is beautiful and worthy of love!
     
    #6 Crema, Aug 18, 2015
  7. Haadriv

    Haadriv
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    @zgirl81 I did check out the Facebook link. It does work with minorities and issues that are suppressed by the society at large but couldn't find anything related to LGBT :frowning2:
    You know in Pakistan, its not just a social taboo its also a huge issue in terms of religion. Extremist here can actually cause physical harm to whoever theyngpund out were trying to help gay people. I spoke to this gay friend of mine indirectly about how does it work if hypothetically speaking I knew someone who was gay, and he told me that he knows a few lesbian girls but their safety is very important so whoever is interrsted , he'd like to meet her in person first and make sure she's not going to expose them in anyway. I completely understand his concerns but its scary and pretty much takes the hope away of finding someone in real life. I mean u know internet websites are such an artificial way of getting to know someone. I still haven't met him to to tell him the truth that I was asking him for my sake.. Anyway my point is its scary and takes the hope away.. It doesnt sound like a bunch of gay people sounds like sop top secret CIA project where personnel's are so under the cover and revealing the identity could be really dangerous. What do you suggest I do now :frowning2:
     
    #7 Haadriv, Aug 20, 2015
  8. bingostring

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    Hi Haardriv!

    Welcome to EC. I am also very proud of you for being authentic and wanting what is right.

    It is so sad that in 2015 so many people live in suffocating circumstances where it is difficult or even unsafe to be open and honest.

    At least you are in a large city where you are most likely to find like minded people. I bet there are support groups where you live, and some online groups/communities in your country too. How to track them down is the problem. Maybe it just needs determination and hours and hours of Googling!

    In the meantime do settle in to EC. You can find the process of chatting on all sorts of subjects here very therapeutic and helpful.
     
    #8 bingostring, Aug 20, 2015
  9. Haadriv

    Haadriv
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    Hey
    Thanks again for the support each one of u offers Even if its in few words. Talking about it hasn't been easy and this forum is the only place I have opened up or else I don't have any friends or family I could share my situation with. Unfortunately even though the city I live in is the safest and one of the most beautiful places in Pakistan it still is not liberal enough to have homosexual issues surface up. There are no support groups whatsoever. I myself am working with a mental health facility..and there barely are counseling Services avail able let alone that for LGBT community members. Like i mentioned above the religious restrictions and the shame associated with it is huge
    U can actaully fear being killed or kidnapped if an extremist found out u were gay. And well these extremists can be in any profession or social gathering which makes it all the more hard.Have had no luck with Google or Facebook so far. If anybody does however find somethinf relevant i would urge them to share it with me please :slight_smile:
     
    #9 Haadriv, Aug 20, 2015
  10. Vashta Nerada

    Vashta Nerada
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    Hey Haadriv, before anything else I'd just like to join everyone in applauding your bravery and sensibility here, it's an awful thing when someone can't be who they are because it might physically endanger them and you have my sympathy!
    Is there any possibility of perhaps working towards a goal of moving towards a more accepting part of the world? I know obviously this is a big thought but it could be worth considering.
     
    #10 Vashta Nerada, Aug 20, 2015
  11. Haadriv

    Haadriv
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    Thanks again... You folks are really sweet n supportive... Your right its unfair but that's how it is.. I have considered that option.. I'm trying to apply for my post graduate studies abroad.. I'm hoping for a scholarship that's the only way I can financially support myself.. Although it does scare me moving to an entirely new place.. N the fear what if I still don't find that one person we all look for...
     
    #11 Haadriv, Aug 20, 2015
  12. Vashta Nerada

    Vashta Nerada
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    Just remember it's not all about relationships, even being able to be a part of a wider community (in person, that is) of people like you would be something to strive for :eusa_clap
    The scholarship definitely sounds worthy of pursuit and I wish you a lot of luck in it
     
    #12 Vashta Nerada, Aug 20, 2015
  13. Haadriv

    Haadriv
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    Thanks vashta ur right that is feeling freedom in a sense I never have before.. N I think that would be great its just that like kid I wish I found the One.. You know what I mean
     
    #13 Haadriv, Aug 20, 2015
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