There's this girl in my main group of 5, we'll call her Ana. She gets awesome grades, she actually skipped a grade. She's intelligent and could certainly get a good job some day. And yet she's so sexist, and somewhat homophobic...Here's what I mean: -She thinks that the man should be "in charge" in a relationship and that a woman should "take more than she gives" (her exact words) -Thinks women should stay at home to take care of kids -Men shouldn't be sensitive, should be bold and in charge Also, with homophobia/transphobia -We were talking about kids, and I said I would most likely adopt, and she shrugged and said, "You'll probably turn out normal so you won't have to." And I said, "Really? Maybe you'll turn gay tomorrow." "No way! That could never happen, that's different!" Me: -_- -Talking about transgendered people, and she refers to Caitlyn as Bruce... Even after gently correcting her and explaining that they've done brain studies on trans and non binaries that show that it is a mental condition. -Calls non binaries "it" (which sucks because I am most likely GQ to some extent.) -Every time I so much as mention a crush, she stares at me weirdly even though at our sleepover she literally spent two hours rambling on about hers and what type of freaking ceiling their house would have. -Bonus points for liking Donald Trump The thing is, outside of this, she's perplexingly friendly, kind, and not a bad person. She's well-liked in our group, but it's thing like these that make me :bang: She's definitely the personality to fall into typical gender roles, yet I don't see how such a high-IQ'ed person can have such outdated and bigoted views. Especially since her mom is a single working mother, and her dad left when she was a baby, you'd think this would change her views. I just needed to vent, if you want to share your stories or anything go for it! Also, am I overthinking things?
I completely agree. Back when I was on Encyclopedia Dramatica, my head was filled with so much of that garbage that I was completely against most everything different: religion, furries, Arabs, etc. I was still like that long after I left the site, until I came to this site and found out that practically everything I was spoon fed by ED was a vicious lie. Ever since I started out here, I've become more accepting of everything, and I've also become all the better for it. Even though my brain sometimes still thinks things towards others that could be considered racist/sexist/xenophobic/etc., It only tells me that I still have some getting used to with the whole acceptance thing and at least I'm not the type of person who acts upon those vicious thoughts.
I have a friend like this. She's super Christian and homophobic, yet she's just so nice. she's just a really good friend. I'm sorry that she's like this. I mean, there's nothing that you can do about her actions, but you can control your reactions and make the best out of the situation. Sometimes, not all beliefs match up with yours, but if she's a good friend (meaning she doesn't shove her beliefs onto you or be rude to you) there's no reason to not be her friend. P.S. The Donald Trump thing made me smile
A person's beliefs sometimes have little to do with their IQ. Maybe her views will relax a bit once she goes to college and meets people from all different kinds of backgrounds (college will do that to you). Personally, I don't think that's a really good friend to have.. at least not as a close friend. I don't think that kind of friend is good for an LGBT person's mental health whether she's sweet as sugar or mean as a troll otherwise.
I had a friend like that. He was a really nice guy, and we had been friends for about 6 years, actually, but when I began to start to come out to people, including him, he was very against it. He said "It's just a phase" and "Come on, you know this isn't real" and "I'll take you to my church, we'll fix you up" and all of that. I decided that I couldn't deal with it. I need a friend who will accept me for me, and not just someone who's nice. If she's really bothering you then you shouldn't be around her. As Unami said, that kind of a person, let alone a friend, isn't good for your mental health. Plus, she likes Donald Trump, so. :lol:
A person who doesn't respect you shouldn't be able to claim that they are friends with you. I wouldn't stay around her (privately, at least) for my own sake. What's the whole thing with Donald Trump?
Stay friends with her. Loyalty is one of the best things ever. At least, I would stay being her friend because I have a tendency of being loyal to anyone. I had this really clingy friend who got jealous of me talking to other people and she thought that I talked about her behind her back, but I never did. She could be mean and stuff, but I stayed her friend even though I had the chance to escape multiple times. A friend is a friend, and it's important to cherish them for all they are. This is what it means to have a friend, to real with their flaws and weaknesses. Everybody has them, so why would you just drop someone because they had a certain flaw? Now that's just cruel. Even though she is definitely a true Republican, you still need to stay with her. As soon as you drop them, you start to miss them because you actually cared for them and liked them. My clingy friend was my best friend, and I had deal with her a lot. But at the same time, I was happy to be around her too. Even though she had her flaws, it seemed that they went away after I stayed friends with her. Your friend is a great person that just has flaws like all of us. Though in my case, my friend was part of the lgbt+ community. So I can see both sides on this. I wouldn't know for the other side, because I'm as loyal as a dog. Everybody's different, so I wouldn't know. Just wait till she goes to college or something. Nobody really stays in contact after college. Sorry if this post was no help.
