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Long Distance Relationship - Advice/opinions

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by amoore658, Aug 22, 2015.

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  1. amoore658

    amoore658
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    Well everyone, I'm just on wanting your opinion(s) on my relationship, which is about to go the dreaded "long distance" in one week's time.

    Basically, I'm 22 and my bf is 19. We live about 5 minutes walk from each other, and have been going out since mid-June. All this time, we've both been aware he's returning to university in September, but... I never thought too much of it until recently, when it's made me wonder will it work?

    He seems so mature for his age - head screwed on so to speak, and not the cheating type. And he says he wants nothing more than this relationship to work - which is exactly how I feel. I really really like him.

    I'm booked to go over and visit him for five days at the beginning of October and then the same again at the start of November. Then he'll be home for 1 month at Xmas, 1 month at Easter and then finishes for the summer in May next year. I'll probably book a few more trips over to see him to avoid it being more than 5 weeks without seeing him. We both have talked about it and want it to work after he's finished university (he finishes in May 2018 - lol)

    Just what do you think about LDRs? Any chance they ever work? And what about cheating - is he more likely to do that because of the LDR?
     
    #1 amoore658, Aug 22, 2015
  2. hullaballoo

    hullaballoo
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    LDRs are great especially since both of you want it to work! I've known a few LDRs that have worked out (one pair are even engaged now~)
    Even if cheating is more likely apart, if you both like and trust each other (and as you say he's got his head screwed on properly) I think it could work out!
    Good luck
     
    #2 hullaballoo, Aug 22, 2015
  3. Spartan 117

    Spartan 117
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    I'm going to move this to the Family, Friends and Relationships sub-forum, as it's a relationship question and hopefully you'll find some good advice there!
     
    #3 Spartan 117, Aug 22, 2015
  4. TeamTeal

    TeamTeal
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    Well, it worked for me. And when I talk long distance, we lived on different continents. Yet we got married last year. :icon_wink I'm not gonna lie though, LDRs can be very challenging, sometimes painful, it's hard to be apart. But it was never an issue of being afraid the feelings would wear off or that she would cheat. And it doesn't seem to be the case for you either.

    You are actually lucky enough that you'll be able to see him every month or so, it's not so bad. My wife and I went several times 3 months without seeing each other. But it made every reunion even more intense. We never had time to fight over petty things and I believe it made the relationship stronger.

    So if you both want it and are ready to commit to it, I see no reason why it shouldn't work. If it doesn't, it won't be because of the long distance.
     
    #4 TeamTeal, Aug 22, 2015
  5. Aspen

    Aspen
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    If both of you are committed to making it work (which it sounds like you are) then they definitely can. My girlfriend and I have been together almost two years and long-distance for the majority of that because I was at university. She's actually overseas now and while it's rough, I also believe it's worth it.

    Communication and trust is key. LDRs are hard, but it sounds like you'll be able to visit often. If he's a good guy and not a cheater, I don't see cheating being any more likely when you're apart.
     
    #5 Aspen, Aug 23, 2015
  6. scouse

    scouse
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    LDRs take work but are totally doable if you're both committed. Because of the distance, you have to be creative in how you make time for each other. Regular communication is a no brainer, although be aware that he may likely be very busy at times due to his commitments. It's great that you've got meet ups planned. Also, video messaging is a great way to bridge the gap, particularly when you're missing each other.
     
    #6 scouse, Aug 23, 2015
  7. journalshush

    journalshush
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    When I was in a LDR, we found this website to be awesome Long Distance Relationships - 100+ FUN activities, Forum, Goodies, n' More!
    It has a list of over 100 ideas for long distance dates (and those will really help you keep the romantic side of your relationship alive, instead just becoming pen pals)
    Also there's an app called Couple that is fantastically cheesy. It has a messaging system where you can send pictures that you take, little drawings, but my favorite part was a thing it had called "Thumbkiss" where you could put your thumb on your screen and if your partner did the same thing, and you matched up your thumbprints together, it would turn red and vibrate to signify a "kiss". It's really cheesy and dorky but it's super fun and just nice to have that knowledge you're both sitting there doing the same thing at the same time.
    Best of luck to you! LDRs are really challenging but can be a lot of fun too. And seeing each other so frequently will help too.
     
    #7 journalshush, Aug 23, 2015
  8. amoore658

    amoore658
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    Hi everyone

    Just dropping by to post an update. Well, 2 and a half years on, this relationship is still going :slight_smile: Evidence LDRs can work!
    Just 3 months to go now until he finishes university! Woohoo! No more Long Distance!
     
    #8 amoore658, Dec 12, 2017
  9. Elendil

    Elendil
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    Congrats amoore! Glad to hear you guys are still going strong!:slight_smile:
     
    #9 Elendil, Dec 12, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2017
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