I Think My Friend Is Bi or Likes Me or Something

Maybe he realized that yelling at you and doing other stupid stuff just to not make people suspicious is stupid and mean?
Btw...You did all of that the first time you saw each other? :eusa_clap Damn.

 

@codysmith

Ahhh the period of youth. The ups and downs, push and pull of a relationship. If you ask me, it sounds sweet. Pretty cute too. Like a couple fighting and then make up. Sounds like being in an 'almost' official relationship too.

In the past or during my younger days, I would observe first though since I don't want to come across as desperate, clingy and dependent. But unfortunately that was the vibe that I give out even before I was even in a relationship but that is not relevant.

Basically what I am trying to say hun is that be yourself, know what you are getting yourself into and keep asking yourself if this is what you truly want. If unsure, just observe and try to appreciate the present moment and see where it goes, without being too impulsive or reactive to the situation. I sometimes find establishing myself by self-inquiry allows me to see the bigger picture in the long-run. Like what do I want or expect from this relationship? What does he want or expect in this relationship? Are we both in the same page? If not, are both sides willing to make the effort? Is this someone that I can picture to be with in the long-run? Is this really what I want? Are both sides ready mentally and emotionally for the changes to come in future? Are we able to be completely honest with each other regarding this matter? Are both of us comfortable and willing to discuss this issue and future issues if this topic is brought up. Most men tend to be emotionally 'constipated', if you know what I mean. They are not comfortable expressing their emotions or partake in emotional discussions. Yes, even gays too, especially closeted, curious, or denial ones. So I would try to consider whether this personality is something that I can accept in the long-run as well.

But that is just me. Just some food for thoughts hun.

Wish you all the best and do keep us updated if you can!

Cheers

Warmest Regards

Ben

 

@codysmith

I am so sorry to hear that hun. He sounds sweet with the compliments and all. Although compliments aside, it's really not encouraged to be involved in high-risk behavior. But giving him the benefit of the doubt, most likely he has his own reasons. It's not for us to judge him. I am sure others already have given the fact he was caught. He made a choice and that is from his side. He will have to figure things out on his own accord. Whether its about this recent 'high-risk' behavior or his feelings for you. We can't control that unfortunately.

It does sounds like he is having difficulties dealing with this whole situation. I am afraid it's quite common for guys around this age. They are confused, questioning. They pursue it because it was exciting at first and went with the flow. Then they suddenly have this epiphany like, "What's going on??", and going into some soul-searching phase. We all do that. And I am afraid we will have to give him some time to figure things out for himself. Rushing or imposing him will only push him away further.

From your side sweetie, I would try to ask myself some honest questions about how all this events fit into your life. How I would really feel about this whole thing. Is this really what I want? Can I truly picture myself with him together in the long run? Am I willing to accept the consequences? These are questions which, unfortunately, we can only ask ourselves. Not him. He has to sort it out himself.

He is also most likely in a very vulnerable stage in his life right now, which is common for guys experiencing this at his age, trying to figure things out. I would try to be more aware with where this whole thing is going and what I can really expect from this 'relationship'. And whether I am alright with it if it is going in a certain direction, favorable or not. These are something that I would consider if I were in the same situation. It may or may not be for yours and his own good, just so that it wouldn't make things more complicated than it already is.

I hope this helps.

I wish you both the best and do keep us updated!

Ben

 

Ooooooo get dirty, BITCH!

 

@codysmith

I am glad to hear that hun. Hope things will eventually be sorted out. Just remember to be aware and mindful at all times yea. Continue to observe how the events will unfold and try to keep calm and cool. I wish you guys all the best! Tk good care )

Ben

 

@codysmith

Hey there buddy. I am sorry to hear that. Although frankly... from another perspective, it does sound rather funny, like there is some humor element to it. Something that could come straight out from a movie.

I wouldn't be too hard on myself about this. It was one of those awkward moments and we all had those moments. Even myself, albeit different situations. Most likely, after some time has passed, both sides will find a chance to laugh about it.

I would try not to figure out what his actions, or his intentions or what were his motives during and/or after the incident. Because frankly sweetie, if we all try to figure it out, it probably wouldn't lead both sides anywhere other than more hurt and grief. Also, in the long run, it will unlikely benefit either sides.

Although, that being said, I would try to figure things out from my part. I would asks myself some important questions, as always, and to be really honest with myself.


Do I still have 'unrequited' feelings for him? And how did he responded to that now?

Did I let myself go because he behaved in a certain convincing manner or mentioned certain 'promises'? Has he truly changed?

Was I aware what was happening during the incident? Where this whole thing was leading? What consequences would it result in?

Did I allowed myself to behave in a certain manner which encourages the incident? Did I perhaps displayed certain signs or body language that could lead to the incident?

What was my decision during the incident? Did I wanted this to go on or if given a chance, I wouldn't have gotten myself involved in it?

It saddens me to share this with you sweetie, but people's minds are temperamental and changeable, like weather in the sky. What was said and what was done can be completely two different things from the same person, even after many many years. It's not my place to comment whether a certain relationship should be pursue by anyone.

Although, given the repetitive nature of this situation, I would try to observe his actions. Afterall, it is quite common for people to offer certain promises and not having it followed through completely, be they gay or straight. There is a familiar saying that goes:

Words can be well-chosen,
Words can be manipulated,
Words can be sugar-coated.
But action speaks louder than words.

If his actions are not the same as his words or deeds, then I am afraid the person has not change, despite time. A decent and mature man, while cannot completely 100% become a man of his words, will try his best to at least act accordingly. And a decent and mature man is truly very rare these days throughout all stages of life, whether during adolescents, teenage, young adult, or mature adult years. But that is his decision with his life. It has nothing to do with you, I am afraid.

You have yours to make. And it may be greatly beneficial to you, to decide what would you want from this relationship and whether it is truly worth it, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

I hope this helps a little my dear boy.


Cheers bruv

Ben

 

Oh man... I'd pay so much just to see her face.
Wait, no, I mean... sounds like another scared fagget.
My answer will always be the same...
Leave him.
Dude, he's even scared of himself.

 

Here waiting for the next episode :eusa_danc

 

^
THIS BlTCH GETS IT

 

This sounds adorable tbh keep us posted!

 

You've got to forgive him, because everyone makes mistakes. Eventually, if it doesn't happen again, maybe you can forget about it too.

When someone's questioning and scared of being 'outed', they can do things they otherwise wouldn't do. If you care a lot about them, it's really easy to be hurt by some of the things they might do, because they'll want to 'prove' to others that their feelings for you don't exist. You can forgive them, avoid them or hurt them back. Sometimes you want to hurt them back, but if you do, you'll end up hating each other. If they keep doing it, without showing regard for your feelings, then you should avoid them, but everyone makes mistakes sometimes, so the first thing to try is to forgive them.

I wish I had had some experience with what it's like for closeted guys before this one guy started things with me. I didn't understand what it's like for him, because for me it's not a big deal that I'm bi (maybe it would be a bigger deal to me if I were gay -- I don't know). It sounds like your friend is scared of the idea of being bi or gay. If you're not, then just try to remember that what doesn't seem like a big deal to you could be a huge deal to him.