How to ask someone what their intentions are?

So I met a gay guy on a hiking LGBTQ meetup a month or so ago. There were maybe 15 or so people there. He initiated conversation with me at one point, as did some other guys (probably more comfortable about being gay than me in public). We talked and had quite a bit in common and we're both technical. He is around 10-12 years older than me (not sure).

Since then, we've met up once near where I live to play some games, chat, and eat out together. We met another time near his place, went to a street festival, ate out, chatted, and played some games at his place. In both cases, we used the words "hang out" and "meet up" to designate these events. The guy is far more comfortable in his skin and he is out. He has a lot of other gay friends. I've not ventured into the gay scene at all in the real world, so he has shown me around a little with respect to this.

We have hugged each other a couple times (on departure), initiated by him. We also shared a bite of each other's ice cream one time.

My instincts tell me that he is possibly into me a little. I do find him to be a good friend and I have some attraction toward him. But I'm really bad at reading these things. :eusa_doh:

No, we haven't done anything like kissing, etc. We enjoy each other's company.

Is he just a good friend or does he see us as more than friends? I don't think there's a way to know this without asking. Is there?

How can I ask this? Isn't this awkward? What if he is just a friend? :icon_redf

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks!

 

Yes, but in our initial meeting with the LGBTQ group, all of the guys hugged each other as like a "I support you" / "goodbye" hug. I don't think I can read into that.

Not sure though about the second hug, but it was also within the context of a goodbye. i.e. When I was leaving, we hugged and then I left.

 

Thanks mangotree. (*hug*)

That's what my impression was with the gay community here in the San Francisco bay area, too.

Yeah, I might need to think about how to phrase this correctly, but this is what I was thinking I would have to do. I don't know any of the other hikers close enough to ask this to them.

However, I suppose I could sort of walk around the subject by asking if he has kept in touch with the other hikers from when we met. That might suggest something. After the initial hike, he reached out to me saying something to the effect of "hope to see you on another hike", and then I responded asking if he wanted to hang out and play ping pong.

I'm probably reading too deeply into this, but I guess the only way to truly know is to ask. I don't want to seem too obnoxious for asking though.

 

It's definitely something I've considered. Could I see us dating, yes. Would I want to go on a date with him if he was interested, yes. I'm always much of a planner though and I really can't see where it will lead, which makes me feel uneasy. I don't want to lose a friend.

Honestly, I don't know. We have a lot in common, so I think we would be good friends and possibly partners. But, I have very little experience in relationships.

As of today, do I think he is the hottest guy that I have ever seen in my life, no. Do I think there's potential there, yes. I am definitely attracted to his personality.

The other part is, after I asked (via email after our last meeting, yeah I was way too anxious to ask in person), he did confirm to me that he is single.

Could I be happy for him if he found a different partner, yes. If he's interested and neither one of us asks the other, I just assume someone else will ask him. sigh

 

Well, I completely failed at this the last time we met up. :icon_redf

The only somewhat related question I was able to ask was "how do you go about meeting guys?" to which he responded, online dating sites.

I feel like we both know a bit about each other and our beliefs and we're similar and I know there were some openings that I could have taken advantage of to "get closer" to him, but I guess I'm just afraid of getting close to people.

In retrospect, there were at least three distinct times where I could have gone in for the hug or moved in closer or asked him what he thought, but I don't feel comfortable doing this. I emailed him afterwards asking one of the questions I was too afraid to ask in person: do you have a "type" of guy that attracts you? but I've not received a response yet. :eusa_doh:

At this rate I can't see me ever being in a relationship unless I can get over the hump of being open to getting close to people. Eh, it's probably not healthy to dwell on this... :help:

What I want to say: are you interested in me? or do you want to date me? or do you find me attractive?

What I will say:

:bang: