coming out disater

When I first accepted I was gay in 6th grade I stayed closited often getting very angry when people would call me gay and I would act homophobic in 7th grade I was still closited. It I wasn't acting homophobic I was more focused on my trapping and tracking then in the summer I decided I had enoufe and told my best friend who was very supportive then I told my other best friend who also was supportive then I told my other friend who wasn't supportive and hated me after that I didn't really do anything I fell into a deep deppretion then after that I decided to tell my friend from scouts named will and he was extremely supportive I was talking to them all the other day and they convinced me to come out to everyone so I posted something on Facebook some people we're supportive some people we're not I wasn't friends with my parents after learning about my dad being homophobic and my mom thinking it's just a choice. One kid that I was friends with named David told his dad who was very homophobic David went to scouts with me so his dad called the leaders about me and how I was a gay scout nothing bad happened to me but my leaders called my parents Asking about it and at this point my parents had no idea at the time I was at a scout trip that was being attended by Davids dad I had very little idea except my parents who called me and they made me think the leaders we're angry at me I was so scared that I threw up and had panic attakes but then I went on the trip terrified and was also angry at my leaders they never said anything about it and I had no idea what was going on David and his dad we're very angry at me and I had no idea why and I got so worryed that I had a panic attack when we we're getting ready to go do adopt a highway my leaders knew something was wrong then so they talked to me about what was going on and I told them what my mom told me and they told me non of this was true and that they we're fine with me being gay and they called because another scout and his dad we're angry about me being gay then I realized that the only person I needed to be scared of was my dad who was homophobic, angry and not shy of hitting me and I knew my mom wouldn't do anything after that I was so scared about what was going to happen I didn't have a panic attack but I became very angry about my parents lieing to me and that my dad was going to hit me I took out my hidden sheath knife that was banned from scouts and I stabbed it into a tree in front of everyone some people got freaked out and ran away and some of the older kids we're trying to get me and creeping closer and closer so I pulled out my knife and span around Holding the knife so that if anyone tryed to do something I was going to slash them with it then I broke down and dropped the knife and ran but will was faster and takkled me to the ground before I could run into the woods after that they talked to me about it and a little later we packed up and left and I got a ride home with one of my leaders I got home and my parents were not home so I stayed there freaking out until I hot a text from my mom about how they support me and love me so I calmed down and waited for them to get home when they got home I talked to them and my mom kept referring to it as a choice and my dad wasn't supportive like my mom said mom and I asked him why he hates gays so much and he told me he doesn't like when people force him to support it and by this he ment he didn't like it when people got made at him when he complains about gay marragie and he also told me he would never want to to a gay wedding because he thinks the only reason to get married is to start a family after that I freaked out and threw myself at the door hitting it as hard as I could nothing happened so I started screaming and I smashed a window and ran I ran until I couldn't run any more and then broke down and slammed my head into a wall and gashed my head bad then I started to cry I was in the middle of town and a lot of people passed me by and after that I got taken home in a cop car and now my parents are acting like they both support me but I can tell they we're faking it and I was right my mom asked me why I was being so secretive and I told her I didn't want to tell her and she kept asking me so then I ran up to my room and her I am