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Emancipation seems like the only answer

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Friendly Lion, Aug 25, 2015.

  1. Friendly Lion

    Regular Member

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    So, I'm a sixteen year-old. Almost seventeen. Senior in highschool. Hi. And I've been having a lot of issues with my current living situations for a long time now. Mostly, I've been able to put up with it just fine, but lately it's really been getting to me and I'm thinking it might just be time to leave.

    I'll start off with saying that I'm fairly queer. I'm AFAB but present mostly male, I spend like 80% of my time with other guys, and I have a lovely girlfriend who's been really important to me for as long as I can remember.

    Well, my parents are Christian (which I don't have a problem with, but they're the angry, homophobic type) so life at my house kinda sucks. I'll try and give an idea, but it's hard to explain.

    I'm not allowed to buy "boy clothes" so I only have a few outfits I can wear that don't make me crazy dysphoric. They call me by the wrong name always, even though they know I hate it. They get extremely angry with me whenever I do anything that seems "gay" to them, and one time I was grounded from all electronics and social events (except church) for four months because they thought I had a crush on a girl. I live in a closet currently because the only other room they'll let me sleep in is pink and frilly, and I know that's dumb of me, but I can't stand sleeping in that room (also I can afford to pay rent for this room). I'm not allowed to spend time with friends who seem gay or aren't Christian, and I'm currently being sent to a therapist who's supposed to make me more female/straight.

    I've been physically hurt on a few ocassions but not enough that I could call abuse, and my mother is supposed to be on bipolar medication but stopped taking it a few years ago, which means most arguments with her are rather frightening for me. Coming back to the house in general scares me and when I'm there, I feel unsafe. At any moment I could do something that seems "too gay" and get screamed at/grounded.

    Should I just leave or wait it out?

    ---------- Post added 25th Aug 2015 at 11:22 PM ----------

    Oh, also. Other helpful imformation.

    I have a friend I can live with if emancipated. She has an apartment in the upstairs of her home I can afford. Currently I work as a waiter for a local restaurant in my town. I can drive but I don't have a car, but I can bike anywhere I need to. And my parents aren't currently paying for my education, so I don't need their help with that.

    Thanks in advance for your help!
     
  2. resu

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    Are you paying rent in your parents' house? It does sounds like your parents are very controlling in a negative way. Have you tried talking to an impartial counselor, like maybe someone from school or elsewhere?

    Also, would the living situation with your friend be stable?
     
  3. Friendly Lion

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    I am currently paying rent to live with my parents, yes, though mostly because I insisted on it. They never said that I had to, but I don't like feeling like a free loader :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    The living situation with my friend would be fairly stable. It's a family that I've known for a long time and they have extra rooms in the house I could use. They know me well and have honestly been more of a home to me lately than my house has. I think I could live there just fine until I turned eighteen.

    I was thinking about seeing a lawyer after school some day and just talking to them about my options? I think that's probably the best next step for me right now
     
  4. Aspen

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    It does sound like you're living in a toxic situation. If you have the chance to get out of it (and it sounds like you do), I think you should go for it. Talking to a lawyer about options would be a good step, along with discussing it with your friend/their family if you haven't already.