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Talking about crushes pre-coming out?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Ameryllis, Aug 27, 2015.

  1. Ameryllis

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Sacramento
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So whenever people ask me if I have a crush on anyone, or who I like, I usually get very anxious because while I don't want to lie, I don't want to tell the truth either.

    Earlier today my friend, who I've been helping with his crush for a while, texted me and asked me if I liked anyone, and I said that I did. He then he went a step further and asked who it was and what "he" looked like. I got very nervous because though I could have described my female crush masculinely, I really didn't want to lie to him. Also, I knew that if I did describe my crush as a male, he would probably ask what "his" name is.

    He was a little annoyed that I didn't go into detail AT ALL about my crush, and for the past week he'd been telling me all about his crush troubles. I also used the "they" pronoun when referring to my crush, so he might be slightly confused about that. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Anyway, what do/did you guys do when talking about your crushes before you came out when asked about them?
     
  2. Lyana

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    I played the pronoun game, using "they" or avoiding pronouns altogether ("the person I like..."). It gets wordy, but it works. I had to do the same thing this summer about my girlfriend, actually -- I was temporarily rooming with a couple girls I didn't know.
    Some people might pick up on it, but you'd be surprised at how unlikely people are to jump to the conclusion that you're not straight.

    If you want to talk a bit more about your crush without coming out, lots of things are gender-neutral, not necessarily "masculine." Hair color, eye color, height for example. Even something like "wears bright colors" or "has a great laugh." But you don't owe this guy every last detail about your crush. ^^
     
  3. galaxygia

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    East Coast (US)
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Oh my god I hate it when people ask me this question. (Usually I'm asked by jerks who are trying to make fun of me) Usually I just say I don't have one. (until last year that was true, my current crush is my first HUGE crush that I've had since I was in 3rd grade) Eventually, if you deny enough, then they'll stop bugging you about it.