Hi I'm having real difficulties with my house mate who i would also class as one of my best friends. I'm bi (not out, only told him and 1 other friend), and have feelings for my best friend. I told him about a year ago that I was bi and about 3 weeks ago that I have feelings for him. He took both really well. I don't have a huge group of friends, and pretty much majority of my social life revolves around him in some way. Difficulties are that I'm jealous that he's beginning to date a girl and I'm finding it really uncomfortable to deal with, feeling sick and having trouble sleeping. Don't really know how to deal with it all as can't really get away from the situation as we live together! Any advice??
*sighs*... I wish I could give you advice. I'm in a similar situation, myself, you see... It's hard. I guess I can advise this. Try focusing on what you have with him rather than what you don't have. Think about what a relationship could cost. Is it worth your friendship? Relationships are like an automatic nono for friendships. Maybe after a looong time, it's a good thing, to start dating a friend... But most people don't realize how fragile it makes a friendship. Take things slow. Appreciate friendship. If you're up to it, attempt to build it up gradually so he will hopefully return your feelings.
Im also in the same situation but not exactly, I have this only friend who knows who I am but I dont really love him or something I just feel attached to him maybe its because hes the only friend that actually knows me. He cares and treats me well but he is straight and homophobic actually, but im the only kind of person that he kinda accepted in his life. Hope I can help you, sorry.
@Decisions123 I am very sorry to hear that hun. It must have been rather difficult for you to deal with. From what I understand, it was mentioned that both your orientation and infatuation was conveyed to him, properly I assumed. Based on his response here, it does seem like he still appreciates you as a friend or at least, cherishes the current friendship that you both have to a certain degree, since after the so-called 'confession', he still decides he wants to maintain the status quo. I would say, as a straight guy from his part, he appears to handle the moment rather well because for some straight guys, they can be really nasty and homophobic if they decide to be. It saddens me to share this with you sweetheart, but if and he is already, deciding to have a girlfriend in his life, it does send a certain clear message: that he is currently straight and he prefers it that way, post-confession. And that will be the decision he has made and the line he wishes to lay out without hurting anyone's feelings. That is from his part. But the bright side is, you too have a choice. You too can make a decision about going through this. I would try to ask myself some important questions and answer myself honestly. Where will all this be going? What will happen to me if this continues? Is it truly worth it? Emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually. What is truly important for me right now? Education? Future career? Is it true that it will be end of the world if he does not become what I want him to be? Can I change him to my liking? Can I truly change another person other than myself? Do I still want him as a friend? Is or has he been a good friend, aside from this situation? Where do I stand? Now that he already has a girlfriend in the picture. And am I able to go through with this maturely and responsibly without mentally breaking down? If I can't what is the next best step for both of us? Am I truly stuck with him? Is he the only friend that I am able to make? Am I truly not able to make other genuine friends? Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how one wishes to see it, we can't truly make choices for other people lives. The best answer would to be honest with our hearts and stick to it. I hope this helps a little my dear boy. Cheers bruv Ben
