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First relationship. How to tell my parents? xd

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by WhiteRaven, Aug 31, 2015.

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  1. WhiteRaven

    WhiteRaven
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    Allright, I guess it must seem kinda pathetic to post this somewhere online, but I am too awkward to ask someone I know about it... not being able to talk openly about relationship love/sex things is a big issue for me in general, but anyway, I digress...

    I am 20, but just now I got my first serious relationship. I met her over facebook about seven months or so ago, and actually we liked each other from the start (though we didn't know it was mutual, lol). Now I know her for three months irl. We never really 'dated' because we already knew each other to a reasonable degree, and also knew (by then) we were both interested in each other, so basically it just gradually 'flowed' into a relationship from there.
    Because she is my first, and I have had many issues with opening up to people etc. in the past, I was kinda hesitant at first about calling what we had a 'relationship'. At first I was also riddled with doubts and fears (mainly my own).
    Now those feelings are gone, and I love her even more than ever... but because I was still so afraid at first, I didn't tell my parents a thing. They don't even know she exists... I feel really sad and even guilty about this, both towards my parents as to her. I never lied about anything to her... except for this, as she thinks my parents already know.
    I just want to tell them I have found a girlfriend, and be open about it, but I have no idea how to 'break the news' so to speak. Also because I met her online and never mentioned her, I am afraid my parents might feel 'left out' and surprised I have even been seeing someone...
    Do any of you have tips on how to do this? I feel like a friggin teenager, lol. But I could really use some advice.

    Cheers.
     
    #1 WhiteRaven, Aug 31, 2015
  2. Nekobi

    Nekobi
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    Well as a friggin teenager, I don't have any first hand experience with this, but I can try anyway.

    Firstly just know that it's better for you to come clean. Completely clean. Sit down with your parents and your girlfriend (preferably at seperate times) and just saythe first thing that comes to mind on the subject because the hardest part is starting the conversation. Once you start the conversation, the rest may flow easier.

    Just explain to them in your own words how long you've been with her and how much you love each other. Explain why you hid it from them and hopefully they will understand. I think the best you can do now is just tell them the truth.

    The main thing is though- do not let yourself back down from the conversation, at all. I have a similar problem talking to people about feelings/relationships etc and whenever I try to talk to someone about them, I run away as soon as I'm questioned on them. Once you've initiated the conversation, don't back down or run away until you've said everything you could possibly say on the subject.

    Sorry, I doubt this helped at all
    But good luck anyway :3
     
    #2 Nekobi, Aug 31, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2015
  3. WhiteRaven

    WhiteRaven
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    Hey, thanks for your reply. It's actually really helpful. I'm still figuring out how to say it exactly though... I kinda feel like a coward... but I have to do it anyway.
     
    #3 WhiteRaven, Sep 3, 2015
  4. Aspen

    Aspen
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    "Mom, Dad, I'm seeing someone" or "I have a girlfriend."

    I think unless you have the kind of relationship with your parents where you share everything with them, they probably won't be too surprised that you haven't told them. If you do have that kind of relationship, then you could always explain to them why you held back and hopefully they'll understand. I'm sure they'll be more excited that you've found someone and curious about her.
     
    #4 Aspen, Sep 3, 2015
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