Im in the closet to my friends and most of my family. I'm in an all boys catholic high school and i don't think it is particularly safe for me to be out right now. The thing is i sometimes come into contact with guys who i may like or i can't tell whether they are gay or not but i don't want to out my self and so i never act on my feelings. It sucks just sitting on my hands doing nothing (not trying to sound sexual with that just a figure of speech). Any help!?!?!:bang:
If you want to know if someone's gay, ask them who their celebrity crushes are. Or bring it up in a political way, like "what's your opinion on marriage equality" or something like that, if they respond well then you know they're safe to come out to.
I like this idea. It's obviously not foolproof in that many people could lie or give only half the truth, especially if they're in the closet. I have several celebrity crushes on women but I would rarely list them among my male crushes unless I'm already out to the person or I know they'll be accepting. And supporting marriage equality doesn't necessarily mean someone is gay. But it's a good place to start.
yea i guess i could try that but where im from people are mostly homophobic or it is taboo because this is a religious country in the Caribbean and so i can't really speak to "out" peolpe my age. That's why its so much harder to narrow down people i could maybe have a secret relationship with.
As much as I'd like to agree with bacon it's just very aqwarkd to just walk up and start talking about personal things where as they might get suspicious, however if you were to ease into the situation or if it had previously came up then yes it would be the right moment to ask.
well its nice to finally meet somebody in the same boat. Never met another Caribbean person on E.C. Lesser or greater Antilles?
Hm your situation is not ideal. A girl I dated two years back was from a very christian community (the bible belt of the Netherlands). We lived in different cities and visited each other every other week. For her, I was the perfect compromise between not being allowed to be gay but still have contact with me, an openly lesbian person that cared enough for her to not out her. However, I quickly had enough of the situation and cut off contact for my own sake. I don't know what you are looking for, but maybe you can safely look to the internet to find someone not from the same school, but someone somewhere different yet in the same situation as you. They will understand you.
Dating in the closet is tricky especially if one person is out and the other is not. For the closeted person you have to worry about getting outed by mistake. The person who is out has to watch what they say and essentially hide your secret. It can feel like the other person is trying to drag you in the closet with them. That's not a very good feeling if you have spent a lot of time and effort coming out in the first place. It can work for a time but it's definitely not something that many people will put up with. I know that I could not do it.
I plan to come out in 2 years once I'm finished 6th form and off to university. It would be ideal to be in a relationship with someone who is also in the closet or something. I just want a way of figuring out away of assuring that the other person is closeted too. Iv'e had times where I feel a guy is flirting or trying to come on to me but as far I know they are not gay. It is just the struggle of differentiating the closeted gay guy who is in to me or the nice & friendly heterosexual. Where I am from asking someone if they are gay is an insult.
