Hi all! This is my first time posting and I need advice/comfort. I'm currently in college and telling friends about being a lesbian. Last night, I lost my virginity to a good friend and I'm scared. She knew I was a virgin and super nervous about the entire thing. I have extreme body image issues. So, long story short... I was fucked on the carpet, in quite a bit of pain from being rammed into with the first fingers to ever come close to me. I slept alone all night. I feared my ideal of intimacy after sex wouldn't be real... I'm scared that I was a bad lover and she rushed through it because she didn't find me attractive enough.
As hard as it might be, try not to assume that things went badly - you mention recognizing that you have body image issues, so try to remember that and consider that, just maybe, she may have enjoyed herself too. In the meantime, since you mention being in college, have you looked into any counseling/group resources that may be able to help you with body image issues and such? If you recognize that the situation is making you thinking negatively about things when you don't really have to, it might be worth looking into. And also, not to lose track of this - since it was your first time, how did *you* feel about it? Don't forget to let yourself enjoy it and the memory as well!
I don't think that girl was very considerate of the fact that it was your first time but I don't think she wrapped it up quickly because she didn't find you attractive or because you were bad in bed. You said she knew you were a virgin so she can't have expected you to be a pro at everything. First times (regardless of the virginity of the partners) are always awkward and a bit messy, it has nothing to do with experience but more with the fact that none of the partners know what the other like, so if you weren't her first she should probably know that. To be honest I really think she should have taken her time, put you at ease and do thing slowly. I am a bit saddened she didn't. I don't think she didn't find you attractive as very few people can have sex with someone without finding them at least attractive. ( You can have sex without feelings, but willingly without attraction ? doubt so.) Don't stress and think that your next girl will probably be much more considerate and nice with you and tell yourself that you probably weren't that bad and that maybe SHE was the one that was terrible. Good luck and don't beat yourself up . ---------- Post added 2nd Sep 2015 at 11:49 PM ---------- I don't think that girl was very considerate of the fact that it was your first time but I don't think she wrapped it up quickly because she didn't find you attractive or because you were bad in bed. You said she knew you were a virgin so she can't have expected you to be a pro at everything. First times (regardless of the virginity of the partners) are always awkward and a bit messy, it has nothing to do with experience but more with the fact that none of the partners know what the other like, so if you weren't her first she should probably know that. To be honest I really think she should have taken her time, put you at ease and do thing slowly. I am a bit saddened she didn't. I don't think she didn't find you attractive as very few people can have sex with someone without finding them at least attractive. ( You can have sex without feelings, but willingly without attraction ? doubt so.) Don't stress and think that your next girl will probably be much more considerate and nice with you and tell yourself that you probably weren't that bad and that maybe SHE was the one that was terrible. Good luck and don't beat yourself up .
