Ok everyone, this post requires a little bit of context. I do no expect you to know me or be familiar with anything I've written on this forum before now but you need to know something about my previous posts to know how important this one is. In 30 (31 including this one) posts I've never written anything positive - the one which came closest was essentially saying that looks are all that matters in romance, so you'll agree I trust, still on the negative side. My posts have had titles like "I don't know how to date" and usually contain all sorts of self-abuse. I have a habit of committing a real self-character assassination in my posts. Essentially, what I do is gather up everything I hate about my appearance (usually my being overweight, slight geekiness and general unremarkable-ness) and fire it through my keyboard at a usually sympathetic audience. The only way to properly understand how hard I have been on myself is to go to my profile and read my previous posts; I warn you, they do not make for happy reading - they show a man at his very, very lowest. The other usual bit of my posts is to complain for words and words about being single. Truth is, I've been single for five years and have not really had much to shout about romantically. I have two exes, both of whom are married (to different people - thankfully, for my mental state) and there does not seem to be much on the horizon on that score. So, pretty bleak. Anyway, like I said, just go back through my previous posts and you shall see for yourself. Again, I warn you, it's not pleasant; please have a funny YouTube video queued for afterwards. I suppose all I want to say can be boiled down to two points. First, and most importantly, to anyone who has felt in any way, shape or form as black, depressed, morose, condemned, shitty, hopeless, pained, pointless, damned, like a complete cunt, boring, rejected, dejected, or redundant as I have... it's going to be ok and you will be ok. Regardless, of your reasons - whether they mirror mine or not - it is going to be ok. It's ok that you don't feel right and it's going to be ok. It's ok that you don't feel right and it's going to be ok. It's ok that you don't feel right and it's going to be ok. Sorry for the repetition, but there might be someone out there might need it repeated to them. I know I could have used it more than once. Also, specifically, I now realise that it's ok that I'm on my own just now. I now realise that I don't have anyone to date right now and haven't for a while. This is not because I'm ugly or useless or unloveable (one of my favourite low point self-insults) but because... well I don't know specifically why but it's not because there is anything wrong with me. I've loved and been loved before, I've hated and been hated before and so it will continue. So, if you're in the same situation; If you're finding it difficult to get a date, a boyfriend, a girlfriend or whatever romantic entanglement you aspire to then please, take it from me, it's fucking horrible but it is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, anything to do with who you are as a person. No amount of being fat, thin, muscular, saggy or whatever can prevent you from being loveable. Your physical body isn't that powerful I'm afraid. You'll find someone or even several people, after all, there's 7 billion of us, we're not exactly rare. :icon_wink Why did I write this? Well, to add a little bit of sunlight to my past posting on this site, to add a little flower on the pile of cow dung that is the internet in general, to help people who might need it and fall upon this page but there is one more reason. I want to give myself one place to come to, to learn the rules of how to feel good when I feel bad about this and other things in particular. The Rules (a necessary but not an exhaustive list - please add more for your own version): 1. Whenever you are feeling low - remember - IT WILL PASS! 2. Read Rule 1 again, it's important! 3. Read Rule 2 again, it's important! 4. You are nowhere near as ugly, stupid, fat or anything else negative as you feel you are right now. 5. You will meet someone one day. You have before. 6. Stop comparing someone to other people, you have no idea what makes them feel like you do right now. 7. You will succeed, your personality won't allow you not to. 8. Other people aren't as happy as you think they are right now. 9. You have friends that love you - go contact one after you've finished reading Number 10. 10. Well done, you've made it to the end of the list. You've done the first and hardest bit, you've asked yourself for help. Now, go give it to yourself and give yourself a break. I hope this helps you as much as I hope it helps me in the future. All the best, Mr Mac.
