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how do i find my somebody

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Haadriv, Sep 3, 2015.

  1. Haadriv

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2015
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Islamabad
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    hey
    so yeah I have posted here before saying that I come form a place were homosexuality/bisexuality is unacceptable and people who are gay or bi are very very discreet. Like there is no way you can tell who is and isn't straight. those who aren't straight too will act like they are because in Pakistan its a huge taboo not just socially but religiously so that means... no centers... no communities... no online network nothing. {then where do i go}
    People who are online on dating websites are not so educated or polished and im not being judgmental or assumptions iv tried that out. anyone else would call them freaks. Ive posted before how I just don't understand how to find a potential person to date. I appreciate everyone who replied and suggested options but none of that worked out till now...
    for starters I think I am bisexual...I find it very had to develop an emotional connection with men and with women its easier I feel... iv never had sex but I have made out with guys and girls.. and if only that was to be considered I think its much better with girls... I feel a lot more in control... and I think I enjoy it a lot more...I feel everyone has a sexual personality and mine comes out with females very comfortably... I'm a total closet case.. I haven't had a bunch of women who iv been physical with... just two.... who I had a strong emotional bond with and both were closet cases. In fact they said I was the first girl they had been intimate with but I don't quite buy that... anyway the relationship that I shared with both was intense but pretty screwed up... one was much much older to me and the latter was a few years... the emotional experience from both of them has soured me in many ways...trusting men for me was hard enough.. now I have to handle this as well... at this point im not even sure what is desirable or attractive anymore.. a man or a woman... I think what's making me write today is how I miss having that connection with that someone special. I am an extremely intense and emotion driven individual... hookups can never be my thing... I cant feel attracted someone I have no feelings for... but I feel sad to not have anyone in my life... boy or girl... ...who I could share feelings with... feel that strongly for... be intimate with... I miss intimacy... feeling that warmth of someone holding you.... that feeling when you kiss someone you really love... the desire that you feel when you long to make love to someone... cuddling ... flirting .. being playful.. I think I miss all this very much.... the tactile comfort one gets from someone they love...it might sound childish but as a person these things bring more gratification to me then work related accomplishments... I could go on and on about it but I don't want to further prolong the post as its already a long read... what saddens me is me to see a deadlock of not being able to do much about the situation then to just sit and wait for something to happen... I know whoever responds will perhaps try to offer sweet words but it still wouldn't practically change anything for me... yes I might sound like a stubborn kid but that's how I feel rightnow... im upset... :frowning2:
     
  2. Haadriv

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2015
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Islamabad
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Guys any feedback?
     
  3. Riyuzaki

    Riyuzaki Guest

    Well, I see where you're from. I don't know if penalty for homosexuality there is death or imprisonment, but either way I don't think it's safe for you to go around looking for guys. Right now, think it this way: you're not gay, you're bi, which is already a great advantage. You said you prefer women so you can hold it a bit without men. Well, I can't possibly give you any other advice other than this one as I myself have little experience about this and can't put myself in your place. So, try to keep yourself from harm. Good luck :slight_smile: