Boyfriend goes on webcam with strangers - is this right!?

Hi all,

I've been looking for some advice from somebody about a situation I'm going through at the moment. I can't turn to close friends or family as some of the detail is behind closed doors, but I guess so long as I don't reveal too much about my name, location, I'm safe to discuss on here. Hoping you guys (and girls) can help with your views. Here goes...

I've been going out with this guy for over 18 months now. We went through an early dating stage where we were essentially inseparable. We'd go to work day to day, but EVERY evening we'd spend together at either of our houses. We were into each other like crazy. Earlier in the year we decided it wasn't sensible to rent 2 flats and pay 2 lots of bills for water, electric etc..., so we decided to move in with each other. A completely mutual decision (as far as I'm aware!) - so there was no pressure on either party to accept.

Things were going great when we moved in together, until my boyfriend suddenly found himself out of work day to day, instead relying on casual freelance labour in order to earn an income. This didn't bother us too much financially as we lived within our means and our combined income still covered things fairly comfortably. However, this did leave my boyfriend with a LOT of extra time to fill.

I applauded the fact he joined a gym. It was relatively low cost and allowed him to get out of the house every day and not be a couch potato. For the beginning, he would continue to mirror my sleeping patterns as to support me with my job. Over time however, he started to lie in in the mornings and stay up later than me. No big problem, I guess, until I found out what he was doing with his time.

One day, we received an envelope through the post that had been hand delivered anonymously. My boyfriend instantly hid the post from me, but eventually came clean with what had been sent to us. A third party had discovered an online profile for my boyfriend in which he was asking for meet ups and sexual encounters behind my back. This third party clearly wanted to cause a bit of controversy between us, so posted printed screenshots of the profile to us in the hope that I would see them and be livid.

I'm not lying. I was devastated when I found out. The relationship that was so full of happiness had suddenly taken a very serious turn. My boyfriend came clean and admitted he did it for the thrill but promised me that nothing physical had every come of the profile, despite it being online for 2 months. He deleted the profile and I forgave him and we moved on. He was absolutely apologetic about the event, telling me how he never intended to hurt my feelings and that it would never happen again.

Later in that week, my boyfriend stayed up late after I went to bed again. I was still quite anxious as I'd not truly forgiven him yet. Eventually, about 2 hours later at 1am, my boyfriend came to bed. Thoughts were rushing through my head about what he was doing during this time - sure, he could have probably been watching TV, but my mind was running through all possibilities.

The next morning, my boyfriend got up to go to the gym. I got up to go to my gym too, but didn't leave quite at the same time. My curious mind told me to go to the computer that was on the coffee table in the living room and see if there was any clue as to what he might have done the night before. The web browser showed nothing too abnormal - Facebook, the News etc... So I breathed a sigh of relief. Sadly, I'm rather tech savvy, so I know about the many Incognito/Private browsing modes on web browsers these days (gosh kids have it so easy hiding their history nowadays!!). I assumed that perhaps something had happened incognito, but there was nothing much more than I could do about that.

My inquisitive mind delved further. I admit it was totally wrong to go looking in the various folders under my boyfriends account, but what I found shook me to the core, and after he'd kept the online profile secret from me before, the bond of trust was already ruined. Within the 'Screenshots' folder, there were dozens of timestamped screen grabs from the computer over the last few weeks on a website that I don't quite recall the name of now, but it resembled the infamous '#############'. There were pictures of random guys from all over the world (faces and their dicks), with a chat window, talking to my boyfriend, who, on webcam was showing both his face and dick. I was distraught with what I'd found. I would have been able to forgive him if these images were from before our chat earlier in that week, but some were from the night before - my anxiety was right.

So here I am now - I don't know how to take it from here. Do I come out bluntly and ask about these webcam sessions? Do I somehow work him into making a confession? Do I just cut it and run? I feel so uncomfortable with leaving him in a room for 5 minutes - let alone a whole day while I'm at work. Is this type of behaviour reasonably acceptable in a relationship? Help me out guys - I'm looking for some sound advice to put my mind at ease.