How important REALLY is physical attractiveness?

I really want to know what people think about this too. I am in a similar situation: not exactly physically attracted to a guy, but his personality is great. No we haven't had sex though, so I can't rate that.

 

I prefer someone with a sense of style, but you don't have to dress up for me. I actually prefer lax looks over everything else. I couldn't date someone who doesn't have a fashion sense, though. I'm not shallow enough to say no to someone who doesn't, but it most likely wouldn't work out since fashion is something I'm interested in on the standard level, if not a tad more. My bestfriend has bad style and I've learned it really bugs me when someone is bad at it. I briefly started following him and I stopped that when I realized how bad it was. Haha

I dated a few girls back when I thought I was straight that were not attractive, but I found it was pretty easy to overlook that when I found myself attracted to their personality. If you plan on being with them a long time, that could be something you may want to look a bit more into. But it really depends on how important you find that. Is it something you notice all the time? Does it bother you? Could you not give two shits either way? It really just depends.

I also figured out I'm gay, so there's that with the whole dating women thing. Lol

 

It's not on the outside that counts (a lot). It's what's on the inside. In 30-40 years, neither of you is going to realistically match the terms of beauty. Can you see yourself with her in 30-40 years, still happy, even though both of you will be quite decrepit (just joking here). I'm assuming you're 20-something ish at this point, so when you're 60-70, and you're still with her, do you think you'll leave her or she'll leave you because of looks?

When I get out, I'm going to ask two questions: can he keep me stimulated (mentally, physically), and can he provide? I'm not a gold digger, but if he can provide for himself, and possibly a family (including college for the kids) then I'll be happy. It's really, really, not going to matter how big his thing is, nor how he uses it, especially in 60-70 years when he'll need a viagra. If he can't keep me on my toes, or at least close to it, then why am I even dating him? Brains>brawn any day of the week. As for physical stimulation, while sex would be a wonderful add on, will his hugs and kisses and cuddles still make me feel the fuzzies? Will he be able to keep up with me emotionally? And even most importantly, will I be able to help him when he needs it?

OP, looks like you've found a great partner. She sounds like a keeper.

 

From a purely sexual standpoint, it may be very important. But I often find attractiveness of the mind and the attitude to be the best cosmetics, as well as a killer smile, and they'll easily override any so-called imperfections.

I cannot speak for others, as this is primarily a personal thing. Though I'll admit, some folks capture my attention easier and quicker than others, but I've seen supermodel-looking individuals get totally destroyed by somebody with an appealing personality, which makes them oh so sexy to me.

But then again, I may just be weird...

 

Immediately attractive?

Zero importance. I would never go on a date with someone that I haven't had a conversation with first. Beauty is nice on the eyes, but beauty is far from convincing. I would definitely need to get a sense of someone's personality before agreeing to spend time with them and through the process of conversing I would be able to get a small sense of their personality and potentially develop a degree of attraction or intrigue from that.

Eventual attraction?

Extreme importance. I enjoy my sexuality and I need someone that I would feel pleased to enjoy it with.

 

I'm going to answer the general questions below, but first I have to say, mapleluv -- you're attracted to her. Oh, maybe you don't find her that visually attractive, but you two seem to have some great chemistry from the way you describe her kisses. Being with someone you're not attracted to at all would suck, yes, but that's not the case here.
Seems like it's early days for the two of you yet, so maybe the crazy part will fade with some time and allow you to see things clearly, but for now... You're clearly enjoying yourself.
Thing is, if when you look at her you're thinking, She's pretty ugly, isn't she?, well, continuing to date her isn't the best idea, for her or for you. If, however, you look at her and think how unbelievably crazy sexy this woman is... yeah. I'd want to stay with someone like that.


For me personally... Well. My longest relationship to date (which isn't saying much) was with someone I was never physically attracted to. So obviously it isn't immediately a dealbreaker for me. And yes, I've been attracted to people I didn't find visually attractive. If I want to date someone, well, I will, and I don't often analyze why or how I'm attracted to them.