I just broke up with my first ever boyfriend today and I feel so bad and guilty. He's the best guy I've ever met and he's such a good friend, I really enjoy spending time with him and he's always listening to me and stuff. Even though I had a massive crush on him and I still do have feelings for him, our relationship didn't feel right and I always felt wrong or uncomfortable- I don't know if it was because of him or the because he's a boy, it just felt wrong to me saying and hearing 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' seems more natural to me but I don't know- this relationship has led me to think that I may possibly be homoromantic but I'm still not sure. I know that breaking it off was the right choice but that doesn't make me feel any less horrible about it. He had no idea it was coming and he looked so excited to see me but when I told him that I just wanted to be friends and I just saw his face drop and he must have been so upset but he tried to hide it. I feel like I'm breaking into a million pieces inside over the guilt. It makes me wish I never got into the relationship in the first place! I still really want to be friends with him but he seems like he is keeping his distance from me but maybe that's the best for now, it will be easier to get over him... It's just the guilt is killing me, I feel so horrible for doing this to him... Ughhh...
I'm sorry to hear that! Breaking up with someone really is horrible. Even when it's for the right reasons, it can still really hurt. All I can say is that if it didn't feel right and you felt uncomfortable - you did the right thing by splitting up. It would have hurt him a lot more if you stayed in the relationship, knowing that you weren't comfortable with it. I don't think you should beat yourself up about it too much - it can take several attempts to find the right person for you. You're both (presumably) still young and you've both got plenty of time to figure things out and move on. You tried your best, but sometimes it doesn't work out, it isn't anybody's fault. So try not to feel too guilty about it.
