OK so there's this girl... Last year she was in one of my classes (I'm in high school) and would always stare at me,which I thought was unusual because shes super cool and beautiful, and I'm average looking and nerdy. This year she's on my sisters cross country team so I see her at the meets and the same thing, I always catch her looking at me. So I said hi. I am not necessarily openly gay to the whole school, but its not really a big secret and I'm not very femme. We started talking in school, just friendly conversations until just a week or so ago, her and I ended up being alone in the back stairs (everyone calls them te secret stairs cause they're enclosed and not used by many) at school. She grabbed my hand and kissed me as soon as the door shut behind us. I was kinda shocked, but I knew I really liked her since the day I first talked to her and have a had a crush on her for years. Anyways this happened 2 more times since then, and while I enjoyed every second of making out with this beautiful girl, she won't talk to me about it. It sounds so stereotypical, but she won't admit that we are anything more than friends and afterwards she always says not to tell. It's really stressing me out because she won't talk to me about it and I am a person who doesn't like gray areas. I want to help her and me but I don't know how!!! Please give me some advice!
Just ask her what's going on between you both tell her what she's doing is confusing the hell out of you. You could even say you like her and have done since day one but you'll give her time..... See what she says to that. She could be in the closet and still coming to terms with it but you need some answers for both of you
Sounds like she likes you but isn't ready to come out yet. You're gonna have to sit her down and talk about it and come up with some sort of agreement: either you guys wait til she's ready to come out (no hanky panky til then) or you keep hooking up with no strings attached. You have to be ok with the latter though.
^This. She is taking advantage of the situation, and you're the one getting hurt by keeping this secret. Be honest about not liking "grey areas", and you should probably try to find out what's making her nervous about others knowing.
Unfortunately I have been in your shoes Belle the bee. A couple months ago I met a girl who kept looking at me and sending me mixed signals that she was into me, we started talking, became friends but I could still feel those signals and one night after I clearly told her that she was messing with my head and didn't quite understand what she wanted from me, she kissed me and spent the night making out with me and then backtracked the next day, brushing it off as she was 'straight'... but then did it again twice. To be honest I don't really have an answer as all of this happened abroad and we both moved back to our countries not so long after that but I know for sure that she liked me and just couldn't wrap her head around liking another chick. It's fine, I have gone through it, but I learn from this experience that I would never want to go through it again. The headaches and heartache that someone giving you mix signals bring you, isn't worth it. I don't have much advice, but if I were in your shoes I would tell her that while 'it's nice and fun' you would like her to be honest about what she wants from you and would tell her that while I have no problem making out with her I refuse to be her dirty little secret and used as a play toy. I would then explain that I too, was once confused about my sexuality and that it too scared me and that I understand where she stands but that I deserve to have clear answers, and that while I don't expect her to want a relationship I want her to be upfront about what the heck she actually expect from me. (It's how I would feel in that situation though so may not apply to you. ) It won't be an easy nor comfortable talk but I believe it should be done. Life's too short. Keep us updated !
