Sorry, this might be long, so bear with me please! Okay, so this past summer I first came out to my friends and family as Bisexual (I guess that's not the best word for my sexuality, but that was what I said at the time...). The same day one of my best friends did the same thing... She later admitted that she had liked me, and I ended up liking her. So at the end of the school year we were dating, and life was going great. I had my first kiss, and my first relationship. My parents are incredibly supportive and progressive, so that wasn't an issue either. And then my girlfriend came out to her parents. Her mom took it badly. From there things started going down hill... She started cutting, and I didn't know how to help her. After a while, she dumped me. We were still friends until her mom told her not to talk to me or her other friends again. The told her we were a bad influence. Naturally, I was hurt, and we stopped talking. One of my friends (male) started dating her that summer, so I knew about how she was doing. Apparently, she was seeing a therapist. I felt awful. I was the reason things got so bad for her... I was sliding too, my anxiety and OCD issues were getting worse. After a while, she broke up with my male friend too. Shortly after, we agreed to talk again. Not in front of her mom, who is our tennis coach, but on email or when there weren't too many people around. One of my friends is still hurt by what happened, so she doesn't like that I talk to her. Anyways, she ended up admitting that she still had feelings for me. I told her I did too. So here's the thing I need advice on: should I get back together with her? Or is that a bad idea? If we were to get back together it would have to be a secret relationship. It also might be bad for both of our psychological issues, but on the other hand it could help. I don't know... I'm so confused. Well, thanks for reading or skimming this...
I think the first thing to remember is none of this was your fault. It was her mom's for not being able to accept the daughter for who she is. You may want to consider first just starting slow. You're both still young and it sounds like she's not in the best situation with her family. Be friends again first and see where it leads.
This sounds like a situation I had in the past. Slightly different, but similar. In any case, I feel that getting back together right now would be a risky business. I recommend waiting things out, and seeing what happens, how parents take things, etc. Not only that, but there might be some instability in your relationship. Wait until you are both in a better emotional zone. You can't support someone else if you can't support yourself. Trust me on this one. find other friends, broaden your horizons, build up new pillars to support yourself. She should do the same. After you are both secure, try to strengthen your friendship. once everything is stable,(including parents) then you can consider things like having a relationship. I assure you, this is the best approach. I've made too many mistakes in this area.
