So last time I was here I had said I was going to visit my long distance bf for the first time. I kind of disappeared after that and I apologise. It was great, but we're no longer together :/ ANYWAY, I met this new guy and he's really cool and nice. But no matter what I get nervous and stuck with nothing to say. We talked on facetime for the first time last night, and I feel like I embarressed myself by not knowing what to say. I don't want to mess this one up, and I really like this guy. Then what if that happens in person on a date Im just not sure how to go about this.:bang:
You probably wouldn't choke as much in person, but as nuts as you are over this guy, just make sure he's not a creeper. Is he 20+? That's honestly something of a redflag if he's face-timing with someone who's not 18 yet. I messed around with a lot of guys (especially over the internet) when I was young. It made me feel great, but deep down I knew I wasn't meeting anyone of value. It's possible you might get lucky, and so long as he can't hurt you, feel free to keep seeing this man. But you're cute, so any guy you're out with will make things easier for you, and you'll get better at talking to guys with experience, which is sort of what you're getting now.:icon_wink
Thanks for the response! He is 16 and I am 17 so there's not an age issue. I suppose im just nervous and keep getting stuck without anything to say
I don't really have any advice since I've never dated anyone, but it's good to see you back on here -- I wondered a few times what had happened when you went to visit your now-ex so I'm glad you're okay. I wouldn't worry too much about having an awkward first conversation though. Everyone's different so I have no idea how he interpreted it, but I think I'd be kind of flattered if somebody was nervous or shy around me. If you weren't able to get a good discussion going chances are he probably feels the exact same thing you did. Just keep getting to know him and make it clear you're still interested. I think it's pretty normal that you don't feel super comfortable talking to him until you get to know him better. Good luck!
I appreciate it, and yeah I had just disappeared. I guess I just got so caught up in the visit it hadn't cross my mind! I STILL LOVE ALL OF YOU (&&&) But yeah, he said it was cute that I was nervous haha so I suppose its okay. Sometime this weekend or next we're going to finally meet up and go see a movie, so hopefully that goes well xD and if you guys have any advice for that, I need all I can get.
That's awesome, and it's great this guy is close enough to you where it doesn't have to be a huge endeavor to go meet up with him. Again I don't have any battle-tested advice, but I say just be yourself. It's okay to be nervous or be vulnerable; hopefully he'll think that's sweet and make him more comfortable expressing to you how he feels. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to make a good impression, just be willing to share with him who you are and try to learn as much about him as you can. I would suggest going out to dinner and taking a walk or something a bit more intimate than seeing a movie though. With a movie you get a chance to talk for a few minutes before and after, but it doesn't really give you a great opportunity to get to know each other which is what I think a first date should be all about.
Crap. He wants to facetime again tonight, but Im really afraid Im gonna freeze up and not know what to talk about again...
I'm afraid there's really no right answer to this -- the only way to get more comfortable talking to him is to get more experience doing just that. Keep in mind the conversation doesn't have to be 50-50 to have a good flow. You obviously don't want to be too hesitant and have a ton of awkward silence, but there's nothing wrong with letting him control the conversation. A lot of people like to talk about themselves so take advantage of that. Ask him how school is going, how he likes his classes, if he's given much thought about college yet. If he plays sports at all, ask how his team is shaping up this year. If he enjoys video games, ask what he's been playing lately and who knows, maybe you can set up a time to play something together. Chances are he'll reciprocate a lot of these questions and hopefully you hit on a common thread that enables the conversation to flow naturally. Also, consider that you've already had what you considered to be an awkward Facetime session but that doesn't seem to have diminished his desire to talk to you anymore; in fact it sounds like he's pretty eager to have another opportunity to get to know you. Even if you feel like it's all on you, chances are he's pretty nervous too and has some anxious excitement -- that's only natural in the very early stages with someone you like. I'm sure neither of you want to give the other a reason to lose interest. And if it is awkward, try to play that to your advantage. If he comments on it, just say you like him a lot and are just nervous about saying something to screw it up. That's an honest, genuine statement that will probably make him feel pretty good. Once again, good luck!
Thanks so much!!! I really appreciate all you said. We're going to soon and Ill keep all of that in mind!!!
I appreciate your help!!! We facetimed and it was actually really nice! There were a few iffy moments but I really started to feel comfortable talking to him!!! I'm happy that it happened
That's awesome, so glad to hear it! The more you talk to him the easier it will get so hopefully you're well on your way now.
You know, one of the best things to do when you're freezing up is simply to *tell* him you're freezing up. It's a very vulnerable thing to do, but most people would find it charming and adorable that the other person is so excited and taken that they can't think of what to say. It's hard to be authentic with people but it is almost always a good choice. If they don't like "the real you", then it isn't going to work out in the long term anyway, so there's no sense trying to be someone you're not, and I can guarantee that if he cares about you, he's also feeling awkward and dorky as well.
