Hi emptyclosets community, I'm in a tizzy. So my crush of five years (was totally, near-obsessively into this guy throughout high school) randomly messaged me today... after three years of radio silence. I actually saw him for the first time since graduation a few weeks ago, we hung out for two days in a group setting and all those old feelings came back. Anyway, I texted him about a week after, and he never replied. No big surprise, he hasn't replied to anything I've sent him since 2012. Earlier this month, I sent him a meme about a presidential candidate I know he loathes--I was kind of encouraged when he randomly liked one of my posts on FB about primary elections--and today, he responded. Um, he really liked the meme, it seems (he used a lot of exclamation points). In my nervous panic and shock, I responded with another joke (it was a really good one), but no reply, back to square 1. He's almost always online, I see him pop on and off all the time, and I know he's active. Honestly, if I could erase all memory of him a la Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I would. What should I do?
Redghost, it's probably best to keep your distance from him given your history of feelings towards him. It's definitely not fair on yourself to keep your attention lingering around him if he isn't showing signs of interest in return. You can be humble about it by internally admitting that, yeah, you are crazy about this guy, but be wise enough to realise that indulging in his memory especially after he has moved out of your life is moving into unhealthy territory. I have had my share of unrequited crushes too, and I find that it eats up at my self esteem the longer I think about it. What I discovered and always recommend in the "getting over a crush" case is to force yourself or have your friends force you to get outside and discover new things and meet new people because it will boost your self esteem and give you greater chances of finding someone who might actually return your feelings. The bottom line, redghost, is to focus your attention on other more productive and worthwhile things. This, as sad as it is, sounds like a dead-end cause and probably isn't worth your precious time. Keep your mind busy and take this time as an opportunity to expand your horizons.
