Okay, there's this guy and well I have known him since he was a junior in high school and I was a sophomore. He literally lived right around the corner from me in my neighborhood so we would hang out all the time. Well, there was also this other guy who I am still friends with surprisingly and I had this HUGE crush on him that lasted like a year! However, nothing really happened even tho that we ALMOST went out but we couldn't becuase he got this job around Christmas time or something but we still talked talked I guess. So anyways, I didn't realized it then but later on I was starting to have a crush on this other guy who I known longer than the second guy but he was dating a friend of mine back then AND all we did was held hands but I told him that we couldn't do that anymore(the same guy who I have known since I was a sophomore). THEN, after the seoncd guy had graduated he went off to basic training for the army and he and I would write letters back and forth(nothing romantic tho) and we became closer I guess you can say. When he had came back from training, he was still with his girlfriend but ended up breaking up becuase of some stuff that she had did or something and WE have finally began talking talking(NEVER DATED THO!) Then somehow he told me becuase of distance we decided to just be friends. And to be honest, I always still liked him even tho he didn't like me back anymore but maybe it was becuase he was THE FIRST guy that ever truly liked me back so those feelings were still there. Anyway, he is back from college right now becuase he doesn't really have any money at the moment and well one night we were texting and I asked him what would you do if I kiss you randomly? He was like well I don't know I would probably let you. I was like, wouldn't that be weird tho becuase you and I both know that you no longer like me back. He was all I would tell you this try it and see what happens. SO, one day we were walking around the neighborhood and all I kept thinking was should I kiss him? Should I kiss him? And when we walked up to his door to say bye something held me back from kissing him and it happened twice. Like, I have no idea as to why it held me back and I would just think about it all day. Maybe it's becuase I am still questioning? Is it becuase I know that he no longer likes me becuase it wouldn't be right? What if I don't like guys after all and that's why I held back?! What's wrong with me? Maybe I'm just afraid becuase I have never been kissed before. I could really use some adivce :help: PS: sorry if it was a long post but I know that I should give you guys the whole story and all
Hmm.. you simply overthought things and psyched yourself out of kissing him. Asking him by text, thinking about it for days and while you were with him must have been really stressful and something that should happen naturally in the spur of the moment became something forced and uncomfortable. You are clearly attracted to guys and the fact that you put so much significance on that kisz as to make you question your sexual orientation shows how much meaning you attributed to that one kiss and the huge amount of stress you put yourself under in preperation for it. When the time is right you will have your first kiss and I'm sure that many others will follow after it. (*hug*)
