I broke up with a first ever boyfriend a few weeks ago because the relationship just felt wrong to me and I preferred just being friends. I've had a really hard time getting over him, luckily, he's kept a distance from me for now which has helped. Sometimes, I feel like I'm completely over him but as soon as I spot him or just get anything that reminds me of him, it all completely goes down the drain. Sometimes I'm sure that it was the right thing to do breaking up with him and other times, I regret it. I have so many sexual fantasies about him and me wishing I had just kissed him atleast once. The regret is killing me sometimes. I've always liked him in theory but it was always weird and wrong (relationship and dating wise) in real life (this experience has led me to realize that I'm maybe homoromantic, for the moment). I just can't stop thinking about how cute he is and how I want to make out with him. But I know I can't undo the break up, and even if I did, I'm sexually attracted to him but an actual relationship probably wouldn't work out. I just feel like trash.
