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Friend came out to me and likes me. What do I do?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by John2517, Sep 18, 2015.

  1. John2517

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    It's a long story but I'll compress it as much as I can.

    So my friend "Nick" (pseudonym) texted me one day. He told me how he doesn't think he's gay (he's liked a lot of girls and even done things with some) but lately he's been thinking a lot about a guy. And it's not random men, just this one. He asked me if I could relate and I consoled him that it's ok what he's feeling even if he does decide he's gay. When I asked him who it was he said he didn't think it was a good idea to tell me (nothing to do with trust). I said I'd be there for him to help with what he's going through, and I also told him that I've been in his position before.

    At first, I thought that this was a mutual friend of our's because I don't talk to Nick as much as most friends do. But I've seen him at least once every other day so it's made us see each other more.

    Now he confided to me on the 11th. Fast-forward to the 15th and he asked me about how he should ask the guy to hang out and if it should be just them or with other friends. Continued to talk through the week. He told me that he still doesn't know how his friend feels or if he knows that he (Nick) has feelings. Said how he thinks he's just curious and we talked about maybe if things turn out well with his friend, they could experiment.

    Then one night we were talking about hanging out and basically as we talked about that, texts about him and his friend were being sent so he thought I asked him if his friend wanted to hang out with him and I and Nick freaked out. I could tell it from his text.

    So Friday came and I wondering after everything I gathered if I was the guy Nick liked. So I asked him and it turns out I am. Props to him for coming out to the guy he likes without initially giving away that he likes him. I think that made it easier for both of us. And he doesn't want this to ruin our friendship either so I know he cares.

    The issue I have is, I'm bicurious, not gay or bisexual, and neither is he. So I'm not sure what my next move should be. Should I suggest we experiment, should we just try to stay friends. I'm not comfortable doing anything homosexual in public because I want to be certain I'm bi before I do. That's why I want to experiment before I do anything else, so if I like it we may go further, if I don't like it we just stay friends. However, I don't want to pressure him into experimenting if he doesn't want to (but idk if he would yet).

    I'll put updates up every now and then.
     
  2. Aspen

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    I think you should talk to him about it. Be open about your feelings. Tell him that, no matter what, you'd like to stay friends. Put everything on the table and then listen to what he says. If you decide you'd like to try experimenting together, make sure it's a decision that you're both completely comfortable with.
     
  3. SnowshoeGeek

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    Do you think he would be comfortable staying just friends if it didn't feel right to you? It's hard to know those answers but sex/love can change friendship. Maybe... ask him if he's ok with changes, with exploring what is next, knowing that the friendship you have now may not be the same after?