Are my feelings justified? How do I deal with this? (Relationship advice)

I'll try to keep this short, but here goes a wall of text.


During July I met someone, and we liked each other a lot, so we ended up agreeing to date in a long-distance relationship. Though my current issue is not about the LDR.
This is my first relationship despite being 19, so I'm very inexperienced when it comes to anything to do with relationships, so I'm really cautious.



So the issue/ my concerns started a few weeks after we agreed to the relationship when they mentioned to me that they were questioning their sexuality and were thinking they might be asexual.
Since then I have been very very anxious about our compatibility (me not being asexual), I have no clue what their intentions are anymore.
The conflict in my mind kinda stems from the facts that:

1. I feel kinda put-off that they might not be attracted to me the same way I am to them.

2. They told me that they were 'okay' with sex, that they are okay with doing it to please their partner. But this really bothers me and makes me uncomfortable, I despise the thought of them doing that for me for just the sake of pleasing me. It makes me feel gross.

3. I'm not okay with open relationships, and I don't think my partner is either. I'm not polyamorous.


Since then they've made comments that make it sound like they came to the conclusion that they are not asexual, though at the same time they keep on making comments that contradict that, leaving me very confused.

One day they'll say they think I'm really hot and would 'do' me, and then a few days later say another thing slightly contradictory to that, sending me spinning into confusion.

They make comments about wanting to do intimate things with me, like taking baths together or 'seductively' doing something, but then immediately say "but not sexually though", and that they are 'mostly'(?) joking about it. I feel like I'm being teased (in the terms of sex) and led-on a bit.
I know that taking baths together is not inherently sexual, but by brain has issues with differentiating romance and sexual things, and I personally find bathing together to be too intimate to not lead to sexual tension.

It's making me feel shitty and selfish feeling the way I do, and I quite frankly feel ashamed for not wanting to really be with them because of their possible asexuality (I feel like a nasty hypocrite about intolerance, etc., being trans*/queer myself).
I feel weird being the one worrying about sex/intimacy, despite also being one who has no intention of having sex any time soon due to being trans* and my dysphoria preventing me from being comfortable with that until I know my partner better.

In conclusion, I am willing to work with my partner to make it work, but compatibility issues are compatibility issues; there's only so much you can fix when it comes to that (I'm not interested in a platonic relationship).
So I guess my question(s) are:

1. Are my feelings okay/ justified?
2. How do I proceed with this relationship? How do I talk to them without sounding like a total a**? What should I be asking them in order to come to an understanding?
In simpler terms, what kind of questions should I be asking?
3. How can I properly deal with these feelings, if possible, because of the stress/anxiety it causes me?
4. Any other advice pertaining to the described situation.


I know this all sounds really confusing, I wrote this hastily and am probably missing things, but thanks for reading!