3 weeks ago, I met my soulmate on youtube. We have everything about everything in common, and I love him to bits. The problem is that he lives in Malaysia, which is very very far away from Norway. We´re both 19, and really want to make the relationship work. Long Distance relationships can be really tough sometimes, so I´m just wondering if you guys have any tips or encouraging words? A few days ago I had an outburst in the shower, crying like crazy. I was having very negative thoughts, but lately I´ve been more calm about it. I´m probably going to meet him in march next year, but hopefully also a few days this december. There might be a few hindrances in our relationship, making things more difficult. I´m overthinking this early in the relationship, but I can´t help it. (I live at home. we won´t have any privacy once we meet) (if we decide to really make this work, who moves to who?) (we´re only 19, we need to finish our education at least, which is 3 years+. Can I wait that long?) There´s tons of other things I want to write about, but I´m afraid that it´ll get too long and boring. I´m in a stable and decent mood right now, but any positive feedback helps
Long distance relationships are tough but they can work if both parties are equally committed. It requires a lot of trust and communication. I hate to have to say this, but I'm assuming you both have had some sort of "face-to-face" communication (Skype, Facetime, what have you) to be sure that you're both who you say you are. My girlfriend and I were together the two years before we both finished college (I was far away) and she's currently living in Japan for next three years. Whether you can wait that long is really up to the both of you. As for who moves, that's a decision that you should both discuss. It doesn't have to be right away since it sounds like there'll be quite some time before it's possible. For now, just try to enjoy getting to know each other and navigating a new relationship.
I might just be too distrusting of people, but make sure who you think you are dating is actually who he says he is. I've heard too many stories about fake people who exploit the glory of love for their own selfish needs. Anyways, just hang in there bud! It'll be worth the wait!
I've talked on the phone with him several times, and we've also Skyped he is who he says he is I'll try enjoying the relationship for now as you guys says, but it gets difficult sometimes when all I want is him there to hug me. Thanks for the kind posts, guys! ---------- Post added 21st Sep 2015 at 11:19 AM ---------- I also thought it would be good to postpone that question about moving, because it's still very early in the relationship. I just can't help but worry though
You may also want to try and consider keeping an open mind when meeting other people near you rather than just limiting yourself with him for the time being, until the relationship progresses a bit more.
Talk often, video chat as much as you can (for some this can be difficult, I'm living at home and I'm not fully out for example), don't be afraid to flirt with them, also online gaming is a great way to deal with an LDR. I'll eventually grind down my BF and he'll buy a PS4 :lol: LDRs can be very successful, but it needs the 2 people to be committed to an unconventional relationship and all the challenges it brings. Namely for guys, a lack of sex!!
long distance relationships are very hard! But that doesn't mean you can't make it work. One piece of advice is constant communication either via text or skype. Find ways to spend time with each other ie: watch a movie over skype, play video games online, download one of those couple apps. Communication is key especially in a LDR
I'm in a LDR right now, just like you I'm 19 and in college. My gf starts college next year and neither one of us are out to family. But the way we make it work is by getting on FaceTime as much as we can. We watch movies together like that, do homework and even fall asleep on there when she misses me too much. LDRs can be hard but if you really like the person it can also be worth it. Good luck my friend!
I hope my message doesn't come across as cynical, but I feel like it's going to help you in the long run to think about the challenges presented by doing long distance. Here's the thing about long distance relationships: they aren't relationships, they are the promise of one. If you realistically think that you can both hold on to a promise for the 3+ years you mentioned, then go ahead and try. But you'll have to be prepared to put up with doubts, missing the person all the time, wishing your circumstances were different, and a lot more negative feelings. Owning up to these things and being honest enough to address them is important because anticipating them will prepare you to deal with them. However, this doesn't even account for the problems you'll face when you eventually get into a position of one of you being able to relocate, because you'll have to think about family, friends, jobs, visas, language barriers, etc. It takes a lot of dedication to be in a long distance relationship, especially if it's a long term one. That's why I tend to think they can only work if the long distance period comes between a physically present relationship, because you've already experienced what the relationship is like when you're together. Since you have only known each other for 3 weeks, it's hard to definitely say that it won't work. All I can say is that if you know all of these things and you're still prepared to commit to a difficult 3+ years knowing there's a potentially great reward at the end, then good luck to you.
Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. I'm in a long distance relationship right now and it's hard. I have to say honesty is vital to the relationship, and any relationship at that. Be open with each other about concerns, fears, and needs. What are each of your priorities? Do they fit together? Can you compromise if needed? Love can overcome all. Sounds like you guys really have a connection. I did long distance just fine a couple years ago, and it worked for me because I was just so committed to her and calm about the relationship. I knew I wanted to be with her, and I didn't put myself on any specific time table. I had my life and she had hers. When we saw each other in person, it was amazing for me. When we didn't I wrote and messaged and called her. It worked for me. Depends on what you need and want, but it's doable.
I agree with the others, it's still very early and you should just enjoy and go with the flow. You relationship may last a lifetime but it may also only last a month, take it a day at a time and deal with the problems as they come. Long distance relationships have their lot of problems and aren't always easy. They need dedication and commitment as well as a whole bunch of communication but they can be worth it. I know MANY people who have met someone from another country had to deal with a long distance relationship for a while but are now married and having kids. Yes, one of them always had to relocate (sometimes both of them) but it's well worth it. You obviously still have time before thinking about relocating but it's to tell you that long distance relationship CAN work in the long run and make beautiful/ multilingual and multicultural families. Those families had all met face to face before though so I believe meeting each other at least once and spending actual time together is important as it will allow you to see your actual chemistry which may totally change your relationship or at least how you see it going in the long run so it's important. Good luck to you OP and hope it all works out !
