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Boyfriend doesn't want to have sex

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by bigasmadonna, Sep 22, 2015.

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  1. bigasmadonna

    bigasmadonna
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    Me and my boyfriend have been together for year-and-a-half now - everything seems to be going fine besides the fact that we don't have sex.
    I mean, at all - we don't even cuddle!
    It all started when we moved in at the beginning of this year. Before that we had sex even on a twin-size bed when we stayed at our friend's house. He was never a big fan of it but at least we did it. And we ALWAYS cuddled - every night.
    After we moved in he would at least agree for a blowjob from me - but now NOTHING.
    He claims he "just doesn't like it".

    Do you think he actually doesn't like it or is it something else?
     
    #1 bigasmadonna, Sep 22, 2015
  2. TheSeeker

    TheSeeker
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    Maybe he doesn't like to be touched? I assume that you have sexual needs yourself and he isn't filling the,. What has he said about it? What's his excuse. Tell me more...
     
    #2 TheSeeker, Sep 22, 2015
  3. OnTheHighway

    OnTheHighway
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    The only person whom can answer that question is your boyfriend, and you need to talk to him about it. Communication is key and you need to know if there is a sexual compatitabikity issue between you or if he has issues he is dealing with.
     
    #3 OnTheHighway, Sep 22, 2015
  4. bigasmadonna

    bigasmadonna
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    Seeker, I definitely have those needs and that's why it's a problem.

    The biggest problem is that he doesn't like talking. All he says is that he doesn't want to have sex. I can't get more out of him...

    ---------- Post added 23rd Sep 2015 at 07:57 AM ----------

    OnTheHighway, unfortunately he's not big on talking. All he says is "i don't like having sex".
     
    #4 bigasmadonna, Sep 23, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2015
  5. OnTheHighway

    OnTheHighway
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    Well, unfortunately, you need to decide how important sex is for you in a relationship and weight it against the benefits of the relationship you have with him.

    Sexual compatibility, from my perspective, is a significant part of any relationship; and without it, can tend to diminish the emotional connection therein.
     
    #5 OnTheHighway, Sep 23, 2015
  6. Lyana

    Lyana
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    I agree with OnTheHighway, unfortunately.

    If you've been with him for a year and a half, you two should be able to communicate about certain things. If sex is important to you -- and that's completely normal --, you have to let him know.

    It's possible he doesn't enjoy sex or want it often. But if he won't even cuddle and won't even talk about why, then you are going to have to make a choice. You're not satisfied with the current state of the relationship. The perfect resolution (for you) would be that he suddenly realizes he loves sex, but that seems unlikely. It will most likely end up being a choice between leaving him because you're incompatible, and staying in a not-completely-fulfilling relationship.
     
    #6 Lyana, Sep 23, 2015
  7. loveislove01

    loveislove01
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    Like the others said, you're going to have to evaluate whether the possibility of him not liking sex is going to ruin your relationship,

    But what you said about his refusal to even cuddle, and not talk openly after being together for that long...it seems like there might be something wrong.

    Do you think he doesn't want to cuddle because he thinks it will lead to sex?

    But, you are going to have to seriously confront him at some point, especially like this, or you I'll be unhappy long term.
     
    #7 loveislove01, Sep 23, 2015
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