I wanted to tell a friend of mine that I love her today but now we talked in a group and she said that she wants a boyfriend, but not a girlfriend. Not at the moment. Should I still tell her?
Did she say why she would want a boyfriend & not a girlfriend? I think that depends, but if she doesn't want a girlfriend at the moment, odds are she would reject you? You never know though, that could make her reconsider. But how do you think she feels about you, are you guys close? If you really want her to know no matter what though, I think you should tell her. Just be prepared for any possible outcomes.
Is your friend openly bi/pan? Or was she just saying she wants a boyfriend and not a girlfriend as a random statement? If she is bi, I think you could still tell her, just keeping what she said in mind. If she's bi, I don't know how out she is but perhaps she's not ready for a girlfriend because she's not ready to be fully open about it with everyone or she hasn't fully accepted it yet and that would be too much for her right now. So it may not just be weather or not she could like you back, there could be some personal issues she still has to deal with before feeling ready for that. If she's definitely straight, I'd be careful. It's good to be honest about it though, you don't want to just bottle it up and always be keeping it from her. Then you'll always be wondering and it will probably get even more stressful for you. Just tell her gently, understanding where she's at right now and try not to make her feel pressured or anything. It would be helpful if you provided some more information about her sexuality and your current relationship with her, but anyway I hope this helps!(*hug*)
No, she didn't say why. But I think it's because she never had a boy- or a girlfriend before and because where we live there are not really any gay people. So she'd probably feel more "normal" with a boyfriend. And the second question, we are pretty close. I'm one of her best friends after her childhood best friend. ---------- Post added 23rd Sep 2015 at 06:22 PM ---------- Well, she says she could imagine to have a girlfriend but she says that because she never had a boy- or girlfriend yet. So I don't really know but at those things she's really open and I could imagine her liking her. Again, our realationship is good. We are good friends and know us since about 3 years but very good friends we'te only since 1 year. We don't do that much alone together, mostly with friends. Sometimes I actually feel a little ignored by her but that could just be my imagination...
When dealing with a friend I think it's important to think whether or not the risks of telling her is worth it or not. If she happens to reject you, would things be awkward ?would your friendship stay intact or would it ruin it ? Would you be okay with possibly losing her as a friend ? Those are a few questions you should ask yourself before going forward. Personally I don't think there is enough ''proofs'' that she could possibly feel the same way towards you or girls altogether so I would be very careful and probably would work on strengthening my bond with her first and then in seducing her (which if she is straight or just not into you wouldn't work but is worth a try anyway) by giving subtle hints etc... does she know you are bi, by the way ?
