Hi guys! Haven't posted anything in a while, but I've been doing a whole lot better since I came out in to my mom in January. That went a whole lot better than I expected, but now I have a new problem. I started my senior year of high school in August, and things have been going well. However, we got a good chunk of new students at our school (It's fairly small) and one of them has caught my eye. Let's call him L. L seems like everything I'd want in a boyfriend. He's attractive (has the most gorgeous green eyes), funny, has a great personality, and is extremely talented and passionate when it comes to his love for theatre. I've woken up with butterflies in my stomach just about every morning since the day I've met him, and have even had some rather uh... interesting dreams involving him. He knows that I'm gay and is completely ok with it, but I'm about 100% percent sure that he's straight. My issue is that I've been in this situation countless times. I end up liking someone that is probably straight, spend months pining over them, only to let them slip out of my life without telling them how I feel. Even though it's only been almost two months, I could see my feelings getting stronger because no one has ever made me feel like this. It's honestly a tad bit frightening lol. We're going to be seeing each other a lot over the next few months (I'm tutoring him) and I don't know how long I'll be able to sit on my feelings. Like I said, I've always held my feelings in until it was too late, and I've never dated a guy before. I've always wanted to experience that feeling at least once before I left for college, and something seems right about this one. So guys, should I consider telling him and possibly risk a good friend? Or should I simply keep my mouth shut, enjoy his company, and let our friendship build from here? :bang:
Personally, I would keep my mouth shut. I don't want to lose a good friend because of a crush. Crushes come and go. Friendship doesn't.
I-with my negligible experience in these matters-would advise you to go for it. If he knows you're gay, and he's okay with it, then simply telling him how you feeling, and letting him decide how he'll react, seems to be the best idea. He'll probably be fine with it, he might be a closeted guy, or he might push you away. But you won't know unless you try it. So don't be so afraid of what could, potentially, happen that you don't act on your feelings.
As far as this goes at least, don't worry too much about starting college as a deadline - lots of people (especially LGBT folks) only start dating in college, so you are by no means "behind the curve" or anything if that's when it happens for you. Plus, if you're at a small high school, it may be a lot easier to meet someone in college! But for now, I'll make a very tentative suggestion - tell him how you feel, with the expectation that he will indeed turn out to be straight and won't be able to return your feelings, but that you will be able to clear the air and decide together if, for example, you're both still comfortable with you tutoring him. I say this mostly because there's something to be said for feeling like you're able to express your thoughts and feelings in a healthy, respectful way. Telling him you like him doesn't have to mean the end of life as we know it. He may indeed decide to find someone else for tutoring - which is fine and totally understandable. Or he may be understanding, and getting to put your feelings on the table may give you some resolution, and you both may be fine with it.
Gravity makes a good point. Your feelings are normal, and if he knows you're gay, it's not going to be a complete surprise you might be interested in him. It would be very awkward if you say nothing and go ahead with the tutoring.
Thanks for the advice guys. I'm leaning towards telling him pretty soon. I'll tell you guys how that goes.
Hi guys! Back again. So at the time, I though L was straight and I was planning on telling him that I liked him regardless just to get it over with. BUT NO. He just had to go and make things difficult lol. I went to see one of his shows one day, and we hung out pretty much that whole day. We walked through a couple of trails and hung around town. Things felt perfect because it was just us for the first time. I slowly felt myself begin to like him more and more (I hesitate to throw the word "love" around). We came back to school two days later, and he immediately asked me to go to lunch with him. We eventually went again, but I didn't think much of this because he goes to lunch with his other friend as well. However, this is where things got weird. Backtracking a little bit, when I walked into the school that day, some of my other friends found me and we started talking. L see us and walks over to our group. We were in a circle, and he goes out of his way to stand extremely close to me. Like shoulder to shoulder. He continues to go out of his way to be very close to me over the next week, up until the rehearsal for our school play. I was talking to a friend of mine, and L comes over and stands next to me again. I was talking to him about what type of drunk person he would be, and I told L that he would be one of those super-nice-touchy-feely-invasive-of-personal-space drunks. He starts laughing (because it's true) and I sit down. He looks at me for a couple of seconds, and then sits down on my lap and wraps his arms around my neck. He begins to play the part of said drunk, and I was in shock. I'm pretty sure I looked super uncomfortable, because he apologized later. He really didn't need to because I enjoyed it, but I understand why he did. Anyway, about 10 mins before rehearsal was over, he had to go change back into his regular school clothes. Now, the bathroom isn't that far away, so I figured that the straight guy thing to do would be to go to the bathroom and change. Instead, he pulls me aside and asks me to block him while he changes behind this concession stand-looking thing. No one would have seen him had whether I had been there or not, but I did it anyway. Naturally, I glanced over, and he kept looking up at me, possibly trying to see if I was looking. Even when he took me home that day, he kept staring at me. When I would look up, he would put his eyes back on the road. We have had several conversations concerning my sexuality, and he has reiterated that he is comfortable with it. We are supposed to go to the fair together tomorrow, which is when I was planning to tell him. Just wanted to know what you all thought about this. Do you think he might like me back? Or is all of this purely coincidence? Am I overanalyzing things?
I don't think you are over analyzing and not a coincidence. You know the cues he is sending are kinda hard to read so by you trying to get a clear understanding is kinda of what every guy in your position would do. I would say let him know that these things he is doing are throwing you off and be completely honest in how you feel. Good or bad honesty is the best policy. Best of luck Bruh man!
