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How to not turn sour from all the homophobes and mean people in your life.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Chromedome, Sep 25, 2015.

  1. Chromedome

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    Its just that I feel bombarded everyday with their words, there is only so much I can endure before I turn into a total asshole. I'm pretty good at ignoring people by dehumanizing them.
     
  2. TempUsername3

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    I grew up in a super religious household and with super religious friends all around me. I think the one thing that helped me through their words was probably understanding that some people are the way they are because of their environment? If that makes sense.

    The kids at church didn't and still don't know any better, they're just going off of what their parents have made them to believe much like their grandparents made their parents believe. I also think about how their opinions are not personal. They're not out to specifically hurt me, they're just not comfortable with the whole thing.

    Its also good to sit back and think about not taking them so personally, they don't understand what its like to be on the other side but if they did, their opinions would change faster than they can blink. This probably won't help you but it did help me.
     
  3. OnTheHighway

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    I have evolved quite a bit and have now taken an approach I never thought I would have previously considered - Forgive and move on.

    But first, before I was able to forgive others, I needed to forgive myself. What did I need to forgive myself for you might ask? For me, I needed to forgive myself for allowing others to influence how I should lead my life. Once I forgave myself for that, I was able to forgive others for being assholes.

    Now, I am able to simply ignore the BS.
     
  4. andimon

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    You don't need to get angry with nor to forgive anyone. Just ignore them. As long as you have good friends you can hold on to, nothing else matters.
     
  5. OnTheHighway

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    There is always that!
     
  6. JB2015

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    I like Ariseta's advice, but I also know that can provide little comfort when it seems like you are making an effort to understand them, but they are not making an effort to understand you.

    I feel for you having to endure this on a daily basis, as I am also dealing with this right now.

    I don't know how independent you are from those family members, but here is my advice:

    Think about the members of your family in question, and take away their titles, (mom, dad, brother, sister, grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, cousin, etc) and think about them as random people.
    Now, if these random people treated you, responded to you, reacted to you in the way that they are or will, What would you do? How would you feel? How would you react?

    Treat your ‘family’ the same, and you will be fine.

    Just because they are your [insert title] doesn’t mean they act like it.

    I also agree 100% with andimon,
    This is actually what has worked for me.

    Recognize that you deserve love, respect and dignity, and surround yourself with people who give that to you.

    There is some debate about who/where this quote came from, but it's one of my favorites:
    "Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind."
     
    #6 JB2015, Sep 28, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2015