1. My brother keeps calling me transgender and he finally stopped calling me that today. I want come out to him but he tells literally everything I tell to him, to my mom. 2. We went through our clothing and got rid of things we didn't like/wear/need anymore. I got rid of a few dresses. My mom started pitching a fit kind of because I got rid of a dress I only wore once. She told me she wouldn't buy me anymore clothing things. I yelled back about how I hated when she bought super feminine clothing. Later tried on a dress and she told me "Oh no, you can't wear that. It's super feminine, isn't it?" She told my dad not to buy any clothing when he went oversees now. Then we were talking about the renaissance fair. I got rid of my old costume (bright pink, scratchy, and didn't fit anymore). My mom immediately said "so you just got rid of it because it was super feminine." I hate it. I hate how she acts. I hate the clothing she buys for me. Nd I know I shouldn't say this but..I dislike my family. A lot. Plus my mom dismisses it for it just being hormones and puberty...I can't wait to move. Sorry if this is long. I needed to rant about this.
I feel you so much.. First off, your brother is calling you transgender is so offensive. >:[ And dresses.. haha, I get it so much. My mom wants me to be feminine, same for my dad too. But guess what? We all are different and have our own styles. Your mom should respect what you want to wear. I hate dresses too, I would prefer a more comfortable style. And hormones and puberty? Pffttt.. my god, your mom is wrong. She needs to focus on improving her parenting skills and she isn't doing a good job at that. I really hope that someday she'll understand. Just try to explain to her that you don't like it, why and such. I dislike the fact that she's teasing you. I hope things get better and you're not the only one.
I feel like I can relate in a way but since I'm gay and not genderfluid I'm not sure it is my place. So, If you want to read, have at it, otherwise please skip it and tell me to fuck off. Spoiler 1) That's bullshit and yes, incredibly offensive, especially because you have not told him anything. That's like my aunt B who was saying I was gay and trying to out me before I told her and saying how you could tell and all that nonsense. 2) My Dad still thinks it's a phase and that I can change My mom has said I won't know for sure I'm gay until I'm with a guy. (She didn't question if I was straight during the 4 years I had a girlfriend to try and make this go away and get them all to shut up, mind you.) My family says I don't act gay My family also now uses the term 'partner' when before it was girlfriend or wife Let me just also say that it's ok to hate your family. You did not get to choose them like you can choose your friends, and they don't seem to be acting like family. I know we are so conditioned otherwise, but let it go. You deserve so much better. This is what I tell people struggling with that: Think about the members of your family in question, and take away their titles, (mom, dad, brother, sister, grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, cousin, etc) and think about them as random people. Now, if these random people treated you, responded to you, reacted to you in the way that they are or will, What would you do? How would you feel? How would you react? Treat your ‘family’ the same, and you will be fine. Again Just because they are your family doesn’t mean they act like it, and yours certainly aren't.
Midori, you have been born into a society with a mind that doesn't fit into what is considered acceptable by everyone. That does not mean that who you are or what you do is wrong; how you express yourself is your choice and your business. You need to start by recognising that when people mislabel you or call you negative phrases, it is just their internalised hatred towards what is different. Different does not mean bad. Keep this in mind when you hear your family members say things like those you've mentioned. They are not saying these things because they don't love you, they are just reflecting the attitudes of the society they have been raised to believe, and unfortunately they don't see the bigger picture yet. When your family members speak out of a place of unknowingness or intolerance, remind yourself that they are not saying these things out of hatred for you. Let it go knowing that they are just speaking with a closed mind. Hold on to the hope that you can expand their horizons and that they will one day understand your choices. Don't cut ties with your family members by playing into the victim role because one day you could deeply regret it.
