My first thread was: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/family-friends-relationships/181683-i-am-completely-shattered.html After that problem, my ex-gf and I were back together for one month. We had a fight one Saturday and the next day, she left me saying that she feels suffocated in the relationship and wants to be friends only. I accepted and it has been almost two months since we are friends. We meet each week, call each other and chat everyday. Each time we meet, I ask her if she loves me. She says "I love you but not the way you want me to do. I don't want to be with you. I am meeting you because I consider you a lot.I want a normal life." I would do everything for her: taking her to films, buy her food, bunk class if she needs someone. Each time I would do something cute like taking care of her like a kid, she would say "who would take care of me like this if you are not here? Stop impressing me". She once confessed "Only you take care of me like this. Ever1 leaves me. My life at home has changed." Whenever I would talk to her about me and her, she would say that we have already talked about it. Many times she tells to move on and says that she is going to meet someone else. When I don't reply, she says "someone's heart just skipped a beat. Btw, that shouldn't cause you a problem because you are supposed to move on." 2 days ago, I met her and she took my phone. She read all the messages etc and found that I chatted with her friend and other girls. She says she is happy that I am trying to move on. But in fact I did that because somewhere I knew she would take my phone. So I did all this to make her jealous but she didn't. She then told me not to talk about taking me back otherwise she will break our friendship. She even said that she doesn't want my love and don't get angry because of the fact that she left me. Today we were talking a bit and she sent me some pictures saying "worry when I don't fight with you because there is nothing left to fight" "wanted by many taken by none waiting for one'' etc. Well, sorry it's getting lengthy. I love that girl with all my heart. I know there are plenty of fish in the sea blablabla but that heart belongs to her. I am friends with her because I want to protect her no matter what. My things have been ruined. I am still keeping hope that she will love me the same way she did before. I can't let her go. Do you think I can make her like before?
I am going to be brutally honest and say that your relationship, in my opinion and simply judging by what you wrote on here, is long dead. You've been on and off for a while and it doesn't seem to be working. I think you both are clinging to the past but the relationship you had (before all the problems raised) is just gone and there is unfortunately no coming back to that really. I understand that she probably is your first love, therefore making it harder to let go off, but I really think you should take you distance with her and take the time to grieve the relationship to be able to move on. I don't really think she still love you that way. I think she cares about you a lot, and like what you provide her and how you care about her and I think she has a hard time letting you go (even though she affirms she want to) because she knows she would lose all that. I would advice you to hold on to the good memories with her but move on. You seem to work better as friends than as lover. Good luck though OP !
Thank you for your reply.. I kinda agree but I am still keeping hope and idk why.. Yes, we are good as friends but I guess the past still exists between us. Last time when we meet, she found some messages when I told my friends *she is using me in a way. she chats with me most of the time whenever she needs help in her h.w*. Well, at that time, she didn't stress much about that message but since 2 days, she is bringing up this issue most of the time. She says she won't ask for help again; she doesn't need my help; I am bad. I literally ruined things for myself. I don't think I will be able to put distance because I tried it many things but each time, I failed.
It can be incredibly difficult once you have crossed that line and had those feelings. Stay good friends if you can. Nothing wrong with that, and maybe it won't hurt as much?
Thank you for your reply. Well, I'm finding it too hard to walk away or you may say that I'm too weak for that. We fought for almost 3 days and finally I told her that I am fed up of everything. She told me to meet her to solve everything that's left. We talked, she told me not to think of harming myself etc. Trust me, she is a great girl and I still love her no matter what. But I keep wondering will she ever love me? The way she talks to me shows that she cares but she made her mind not to love me. Me? I can't think of some1 else taking her place. She is having exams. So walking away means not letting her concentrate in studies. Anything particular for me to able to win her heart?
speak from your heart, tell her how you feel. I would just caution don't be overly pushy about taking things to a level she doesn't want. I would not want you to jeopardize the friendship in any way, as I'm sure a total loss would hurt more.
