About three months ago, I met a girl online and have since gone on roughly 12 dates with her. She's very different than my usual type, in both mannerisms and appearance. However she seems like a nice person and I'd like to give her a chance. The thing is, there's a couple things that I've noticed that feel off to me. And I wanted to run them by you guys. The first thing is, on all our dates, I've had to drive. She has a license and a vehicle, but always makes me come see her and never the other way around. She lives in a part of the city that has very little parking and is about 45 mins from me. She never opens doors, never offers to pay. We've gone dutch but only on dates that were her idea initially. And on these dates I've always had to arrange transportation/pay for it myself. I know that she's not poor, I make barely anything compare to her. I'm worried that this is just me being suspicious. I've always been in very equal relationships where I was the more feminine of the two. What do you all think?
It's difficult to say because everyone's experiences are different. I had an experience. I saw this one girl who was introduced to me by a friend and I would have to initiate a lot of the time. It was very strange especially given this was my first experience. Anyways, we spoke and I did try to look past the red flags I saw. I always paid. She never offered to pay for me or go Dutch. It was exhausting because we worked at the same place. As time passed, it did start to annoy me and after awhile I found out she was seeing others getting freebies too. She was a nice girl who admitted she had some form of feelings, but in the end she wanted attention like no other... She played games with me a lot, sending me pictures etc . It was very strange since she said about being friends and she didn't treat me like how my other friends treat me. Always needing to compliment her etc. anyways I saw the true side if who she was and finally blocked her so she would stopping seeking attention and such...everyones experience is different as o previously said, just know that the best thing you have is your gut. If your gut believes something believe it. Best of luck and if you ever want to just feel free to message me.
I think you should talk to her about it. In particular, there may be a logical explanation for the driving. I myself don't really like driving with other people in the car, especially in places I'm not totally familiar with. I do find it strange that you go dutch on dates that are her idea but you pay entirely for the ones that are yours. Maybe next time you go out ask "Can we split this one?" or "Would you mind getting this one?" and just see how she responds. Although it might be better to bring it up ahead of time.
The first time reading this it sounds a bit like she is using you. But you can only assume things and you don't know for sure or if there is a specific reason for her behavior that would explain it. Maybe you should talk to her about it and then see how she reacts and hear what she has to say.
Is she younger than you? Not saying I agree with this, but sometimes people who are younger tend to believe that if they are seeing an older person, that person should cover a lot of the bills and such.
She's a couple years older than myself, and finished with school. I'm still in uni. ---------- Post added 30th Sep 2015 at 09:30 AM ---------- That's a good idea, I'll make sure to bring it up next time I see her. Thanks!
