a crush rant; i think i'm obsessed with her

I was one of many new kids in our grade last year. Of the three hundred faces I didn't know, you left an impression on me after the first few weeks. We'd always walk past as I walked to Chinese and you'd walk from it back to the main campus, always laughing or smiling really adorably at some joke some guy made. I remember wishing I could get to know you better, the girl with the sunny expression and big eyes and cute dimples. It's not like you didn't know me or that we didn't have anything in common in our schedule; we were both in symphony, and we both had the same lunch period. Our friend groups even overlapped a bit, but we only exchanged a few sentences throughout the entire year.

This year, though, the first thing I realized when I walked into Chinese in the morning on the first day of school was holy shit, ____ is in my class!!? I sort of just ignored you and sat down behind you next to a close friend of mine who was already there. Somehow we ended up talking; your laughter is contagious as hell. I noticed you have a bit of an accent, which pleasantly surprised me (it's really cute and I wish I could tell you that without coming off incredibly weirdly). As the day went on, we turned out to be in the same Art and Art History classes. We joked about me having three erasers and other random stuff, and it just felt so fricking natural it scared me.. especially to someone like me who is usually mute in front of people who I haven't known for at least two months.

Now it's been two months since school started, and you make me feel such a mix of conflicting emotions that I'm ranting here on this site. On one hand you outright laughed at my miserable math quiz grade (and bring it up at every opportunity), but on the other you walked me up 50-some stairs back up to the library when I forgot my hair clip for picture day. I'm pretty sure this isn't anything as serious as love, but jesus christ you take over my thoughts. You're also so ridiculously adorable when you stress out over tests lol.

I guess I'm just hoping we'll be closer emotionally as the year goes on. You were complaining about something your best friend said ("Why would she do that when she knows...? She says she's not, but..." Was your best friend flirting with your crush? If so, that just sucks) to another one of our mutual close friends, and I know we've only known each other for such a short time but I just hope I can earn your trust. I'm not going to be deluded enough to think you feel the same way about me as I feel about you. Heck, even just standing close to you today made me nervous and hyperaware of little things like your sleeve brushing my elbow.

TL;DR: i am a weird child and too gay for my own good :bang: