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How to ask if he is interested in me?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Rice and Pepper, Oct 2, 2015.

  1. Rice and Pepper

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Greece
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hello friends! In short, there is an AMAZING guy and I can't tell if he is interested, so I need your advice on how to make him say if he is.

    Long story.

    I just moved to the USA to study. In my country I was out to friends and family, but this is a new environment so nobody has a clue. This is a great opportunity, and for the first time I am completely independent and can do whatever I want in my social life. In the program, I have 24 classmates and they are all friendly, I am having a blast so far, although I have tons of work.

    One of these 24 classmates is a very stylish, handsome, social and funny guy. I was instantly dazzled by his charms. However, I can't understand if he is gay. I talk to him whenever I get a chance, I give him compliments and to make it simple, he must be an idiot if he hasn't yet realized I am hitting on him, but I am pretty sure he is not. A couple of times our eyes have met and there has been a relatively long eye contact, but it doesn't feel like it is mutual. I feel this is part of his funny act. Whenever it has happened, I keep the contact for about 3 seconds and then say something or frown to break the awkwardness. I really don't want to look promiscuous, I don't want to just have sex with him. On the other hand, I have never seen him actually looking at me when I am not watching. I really feel that this is one-sided.

    He has also given me a couple of compliments, but again I can't tell if it is just his act. I am sure he understands there is something going on, but I can't understand to what extent he has realized that. I fear he is just playing with me instead of openly saying he is not interested or turning his back on me.

    Just today it occurred to me that a girl from the program might be interested in him too. So far he is ideal, so I don't want to let her take him from me. Time is running out, I want to make a move before her, but I don't know what to do.

    One important detail is that I have never ever been in a relationship, haven't even kissed anyone before. After moving to the US I have made up my mind that I should be more decisive, so I won't let this guy slip past me. Either there is a possibility or I move on to someone else, and I have to find that out now.

    How do I make him explicitly answer if I have a chance? At this point I don't care if my classmates find out I am not straight (should I???), but going up to him and bluntly asking him if he is gay seems to anti-strategic. How could I phrase it better? I want to be aggressive ad succinct eg "I know you are not dumb, so you must have realized I am hitting on you these past few weeks. Are you into guys or not?". Then again, if he is gay but not interested, how could I trigger his interest?
     
  2. PatrickUK

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
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    Out to everyone
    If you are not concerned about your classmates knowing, it follows that you are not concerned about the guy knowing too, so I would tell him and see how he reacts. If his compliments + the eye contact means anything he will probably let you know then.

    If he is gay and not interested you can't make him be interested, but you can still do this...
    ... and remain good friends.